


M is for Miracle

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Long, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-11
Updated: 2003-01-11
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:57:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Mulder is forced to reveal his feelings for Scully under the worst possible circumstances.  Will it ruin their relationship?  Or cement it?  Only time will tell.





	M is for Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

M is for Miracle

## M is for Miracle

### by Donnilee
    
    
    TITLE:      M is for Miracle
    RATING:     NC-17 (For violence and descriptive sex)
    

**CATEGORY: MSR**

WARNING: This story contains disturbing sex scenes where sex is depicted under extreme duress. Some may find these scenes offensive or upsetting. If you are easily disturbed by quasi-rape type situations, you may not want to read this one. 

SUMMARY: Mulder is forced to reveal his feelings for Scully under the worst possible circumstances. Will it ruin their relationship? Or cement it? Only time will tell. 

SPOILERS: Everything through Season 7 is fair game. Requiem hasn't happened. 

DISCLAIMER: Nope. Not mine. Used shamelessly and without remorse. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 and Fox, and god knows who else, but not me. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one's a little plot contrived, but hey, what can I tell you? We all have rough patches! I had a request for another story with anal sex. Sooooooo, there is some molestation and forced voyeuristic situations in this one, although there is no actual rape. Just a little warning. Herein there be violence and back door sex. If this is not your type of tea and crumpet, go elsewhere. You have been warned! 

THE NEW LEXICON WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE Mir-a-cle (mirek'l) a supernatural event regarded as due to divine action, e.g. one of the acts worked by Christ which revealed his divinity. An extremely remarkable achievement or event, e.g. an unexpected piece of luck, (It as a miracle he wasn't hurt.) A miracle play [O.F. fr. L. miraculum fr. mirari, to wonder] 

* * *

* * *

**INTRODUCTION**  
**ARLINGTON, VA**  
**ABANDONED APARTMENT BUILDING**  
**THURSDAY, 3: PM**

I've witnessed many extraordinary events in my life. Things I would term miraculous. I tend to subscribe to the definition of a miracle being an extremely remarkable achievement or event, an unexpected piece of luck, rather than the divine intervention crap. 

My partner would disagree, as we do on most everything. But one thing we can agree on, is that it was undoubtedly a miracle that we were both alive today. After seven years of working together, we were standing here now, in this place, and staring at each other as if stunned. We both knew that we should be dead after what had happened in the last 36 hours. 

There was no logical explanation why we aren't. She knew it. And I knew it. This time, there would be no spewing of hypothesis and no logical reasoning for why we were standing here. 

It was a miracle, plain and simple. And even my antifundamentalist brain was considering the possibility that just perhaps there is a God who had intervened on our behalf. My partner was probably just wondering where we go from here. She is generally much better at recovering from these harrowing events than I seem to be, usually. 

This time was different though. She had just returned from the back of an ambulance where paramedics were checking her out. She looked zoned out. She had turned to me with a wide-eyed, stunned look that I knew I've never seen on her face before. And I've seen lots of expressions on her face. Recently, I'd seen some expressions that I never thought I would. She was confused, frightened and trembling with relief that we are standing here. 

We were both covered with black powder, soot of some kind, from head to toe. Black smudges colored her cheeks and ran in wet rivulets through her hair. Her hair was dirty and plastered to the side of her head. Her lips were dry and chapped. She was wearing a FBI wind breaker with nothing underneath it. Her slacks sporting holes that weren't there two days ago. She had never been more beautiful to me than she was right that minute. 

And not because I'd just made love to her in the last 24 hours, under duress. It was not the way anyone would hope to get together, but I'll get to that later. 

She was beautiful because she IS. Because she was standing here, albeit a little worse for wear, but whole and alive and breathing. I leaned my back on the side of the unmarked cruiser and open my arms slightly. I was afraid that she would reject my invitation, now that we were back in the real world. I held my breath wondering if we would be able to make it past these events and look each other in the eyes ever again. 

We'd said and done things that crossed the inviolate, invisible line we'd Drawn for ourselves. Then again, we had thought we were going to die. You say some amazing things when you think you're going to die. 

She swayed on her feet and then fell into my open arms, wrapping her arms around my waist as I cradled her head to my chest. I felt relief wash through me and released a breath I didn't know I was holding. She was shaking. 

Everyone was peering at us, trying poorly to be discreet, as I looked over her head to survey the destruction of the building in front of us. I didn't care. I realized this behavior may be 'unprofessional' at the scene of a crime. 'Screw them' I thought. I was not letting go of her tiny, trembling form for anything right now. 

Skinner stood there with an expression that was somewhere between relief and amusement. I'm not sure what the amusement was for, unless it was the fact that I was openly cradling my partner in my arms with total disregard for the sea of police officers and FBI agents swarming the streets for a square block around this building. 

He eyed us speculatively for a few moments. Then he said the one thing that could have made me smile given my train of my thoughts at that moment. 

"I don't believe you made it out alive, it's a fucking miracle. How many lives do you two have, anyway?" 

I chuckled humorlessly and looked down at the crown of black streaked red hair below my chin. My partner raised her head slightly from my chest and peeked at Skinner. She didn't smile, but her lips quivered like she wanted to, but couldn't seem to find the energy. She whispered, "I want you to take me home." 

Skinner eyed her for a few moments and then looked at me. "Well, the paramedics checked you out and other than being dirty as hell and bruised up, you're O.K. I would like for you to go to the hospital and get checked out." 

I looked at my partner and she shook her head ever so slightly. "I think we both just want a shower, some food and about 12 hours sleep. I don't really know why I'm still standing. We're exhausted." 

He nodded. "It's your choice. But promise me if anything seems wrong, you'll go straight to Georgetown Memorial." 

I nodded at him. "I will, so will she." Normally, I wouldn't speak for my partner. But she seemed incapable of speech at the moment and I didn't want her to have to think. She'd done some awfully fast thinking in the last 24 hours and I knew she was played out. 

"Where are you going to be, just in case?" he asks. "I know you gave your statements already, but they may need you." 

"Not until tomorrow they won't." I paused. "I'm taking her to my place. It's closer." 

Skinner frowned slightly at me. I looked him right in the eye and said, "I'm NOT leaving her alone, not right now. Maybe in a couple of days." 

He was silent but then nodded. "Just be discreet." That was his only comment. I nodded back. Then he said, "I won't tell anyone she's with you. Check her messages daily for the next couple of days so no one goes looking for her if they try to get a hold of her and she isn't there." 

"Will do. Hey, could you call Margaret Scully and let her know what happened and that Scully's with me?" 

She raised her head off my chest and said, "I'll call mom after we get to your place." Her head went back to my chest. 

I looked at Skinner. "Can we get out of here?" 

"Yeah, go." He handed me a set of keys to the car I was leaning on. It was his. "Take my car. I'll get a ride back to my office." 

"Thanks." 

He opened the trunk and pulled out a blanket that he tossed over the back of the two seats to protect it from our soiled clothing. I grinned at him. "Afraid we'll ruin the upholstery?" 

He said, "No sense in giving the bean counters more to complain about." 

I smiled at him and released Scully. She walked to the other side of the car as I slid in behind the wheel. I swayed slightly. Skinner held the door open. "Hey Mulder, are you sure you're all right to drive? Why don't I take you?" 

I tipped my head back to look up at him and tell him I was fine, when my head spun. I couldn't stop the groan and the wave of nausea that assaulted me. Scully put her hand on my arm. "Let him drive, Mulder. We don't need to fall asleep or have an accident at this point." 

I nodded and slid over the bench seat. I pulled Scully into my lap and sat her sideways, her head resting on my arm I placed on the door frame. She put her arms around my waist again and her head fell onto my chest. Skinner slid in and looked at us briefly and started the car. He mumbled something that sounded like, "So much for discreet." 

* * *

* * *

**PART ONE (NC-17)**  
**36 HOURS EARLIER**  
**J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING**  
**BASEMENT OFFICE**  
**WEDNESDAY MORNING**

<Blliinngg!>

<Blliinngg!>

I looked up at my partner as he made a dirty face at the phone as if that would stop it from ringing. He sighed and lifted the receiver, placing his finger on the page of the file he was reading to keep his place. 

I listened to his end of the conversation, wondering what was up now. We'd just gotten back into town yesterday after chasing another dead end alien abduction case that was a total farce. The supposed family abduction turned out to be a group of trailer residents that wanted their names in the tabloids. Good way to make a buck. 

I wanted to relax for a couple of days and catch up on paperwork. Mulder was finishing up the report on this hoax while I'd begun to plow through overdue expense reports and sending copies to various departments on formerly wrapped up cases. 

"Yes, sir. Agent Phillips. Yeah, Ken, I know him." 

Pause. 

"He's asking for me?" Mulder sounded confused. I perked up, listening carefully. 

Pause. 

"That was almost eight years ago that they put that asshole away. He was supposed to have life. Was still on death row last I heard. What the hell happened?" 

Uh oh. Sounded like someone Mulder had been involved in convicting through VCS. Even after entering the X-Files, he was occasionally called upon for his profiling skills. 

"When did he escape?" Mulder asked. 

Oh, this was really bad. Probably a serial killer. 

"How long have the negotiators been there?" 

Negotiators? 

"How many hostages?" 

Oh shit! 

"Where?" 

"I'll just grab the file and head over there. I should be there within a half an hour. Tell the negotiators to tell that asshole I'm on my way." 

He hung up the phone and stood to head toward one of the cabinets in the back of the office. It was the one cabinet that didn't contain X-Files. It contained VCS files that he had worked on, copied in full from the time he had joined the Bureau nearly twelve years ago. 

"Mulder?" 

He grabbed a file out and returned to his desk, flipping it open and skimming the contents as he held up one finger, asking me to wait a minute. 

Finally he lifted his head. "Kramer Spinks," he said. 

I raised an eyebrow in question. "He was one of the last profiles I did for VCS before moving into the X-Files, about nine years ago. It took nearly a year to get him to and through his trial. He got the death penalty, but he's been appealing it ever since and he was still on death row in Texas, or supposed to be." 

"But he escaped." 

"Yeah, about a month ago, apparently. I wish they had informed me, but I suppose they can't tell everyone who was involved. And I'm out of the loop now, you know?" 

"So what's happening? I heard you mention hostages." 

"He's holed up in the common room of an old, abandoned apartment building about 10 blocks from my apartment." 

My heart sank. "Do you think he's been watching you?" 

"Probably." He seemed awfully calm about this. 

"So what now?" 

"He's got four hostages, people he nabbed off the street one at a time and tied up in the place. He's asking for me. I'm going down there now to help the negotiators." 

"What was his game?" 

"Real sicko. He killed young boys, ages 15 to 20. He's a sodomite. He would grab two boys, make them sodomize each other using death threats to get them to touch each other and do his bidding. Liked to watch. I mean, REALLY liked to watch. Apparently he was raped repeatedly by his stepfather as a kid. He would later bind them up and rape them himself. After he raped them, he would cut off their genitalia. They would bleed out in about 5 minutes." 

"Oh God, how do people get to be so sick!" He merely looked at me. "Rhetorical," I muttered. 

He stood up, closing the file. "I'm heading over there. I'll call you when I know something." 

"Oh no you don't! I'm going with you!" 

"Scully, he's asking for me. This has nothing to do with the X-Files and there is absolutely no reason for you to be involved." 

"So what?" 

"What do you mean so what?" 

Didn't this man realize by now that I cared about him and I wasn't about to let him do anything like this without at least being there for moral support. 

"I mean, so what? That's not the reason I'm going." 

"Why would you WANT to go?" He sounded genuinely confused. Good lord, the man could be dense sometimes. 

"Because I never want you to have to do this stuff alone. I know how knotted up you get and I can at least be there for moral support." 

"I'll call you if I need to talk." He was still trying to protect me all the time from the sordid side of human nature and it drove me absolutely nuts. I stood and put my coat on. 

"Nothing doing." 

"Scully, just stay here and I'll call you. I promise I'll let you know what's going on. You do NOT need to meet this guy, even if it's only through a microphone." 

I stared him down until he hung his head. "Mulder, look at me." He raised his head and met my gaze. I placed a hand on his jaw. "I'm your friend, Mulder, and I WANT to be there." 

"I know you're my friend and I treasure that, but ..." 

"No buts. I'm you're partner too and regardless of whether this is an X-File or not, we are a TEAM, Mulder." 

"I know that. I do." 

"No, sometimes you think that you HAVE to go off and do things by yourself. You don't. I care about you, Mulder, and you NEVER have to do ANYTHING alone, ever again. Do you understand me?" 

He just looked at me for a second before his eyes misted over. He pulled me into a quick, tight hug and then let go, blinking his eyes rather rapidly. "You're an amazing woman, Scully. Do you know that?" 

I beamed my biggest smile at him he retreated, almost looking shy. "You're pretty amazing yourself, partner," I informed him. 

"What the hell did I do to deserve you?" he asked. 

"It's a two-way street, Mulder. Now, where are we going?" 

He chuckled as he opened the door and waived me through. His hand took up residence on the small of my back as he guided me toward the elevator. "To Arlington, partner." 

* * *

If I'd only known how that day was going to turn out, I would have sprinted out of that office and left Scully to eat my dust, regardless of her protests. She would have been royally pissed off, but she also would have gotten over it. 

But as I have said, 'Everything happens for a reason.' And I believe that, despite my proclivity for always trying to interfere in the fate of the cosmos. Ironically, if she hadn't been with me, I would have died in that apartment building, probably only AFTER I'd been raped. My partner has given me a lot of things. But the sacrifice she made that day was the sacrifice to end all sacrifices. She willingly sacrificed her dignity and her pride, two things she grips with an iron fist. 

We arrived on the scene to find the entire city block cordoned off. Police vans with taping and surveillance equipment was scattered around. Skinner was there. He had been called by VCS to come down to the scene by Agent Ken Phillips of VCS. He was heading up this little shin dig. He had also requested that Skinner make the call to me when the psycho holed up in the building called Phillips' cell phone asking for me. He said that if they didn't produce me within the hour, he was going to start having 'fun with hostages,' whatever that meant. 

There were two males and two females in the building. Scully and I pulled as close as we could and both leaped out of the car and rushed over to Skinner and Phillips who were bending over a lap top screen. 

I addressed Phillips, "Ken, good to see you again, sorry it's under these circumstances." Ken was one of the few Agents in the Bureau who I could almost call a friend. We weren't close, but he at least didn't feed into the rumors about 'Spooky Mulder'. We'd worked together in VCS long ago and I'd consulted on quite a few cases with him since then. 

Ken stuck out his hand, shaking mine firmly. "Thanks for coming down so quickly." He eyed Scully, "And this must be your partner, Agent Scully. Weird, all this time and we never met." He eyed Mulder in a teasing fashion. Scully stuck out her hand and he shook it, lingering a bit longer than I thought necessary, but I squelched the unhealthy flash of possessiveness that shot through me. "She didn't have to come." I glanced at Scully. 

"She wouldn't stay behind. She's funny that way." 

"Agent Phillips," she acknowledged. "What have you got?" 

I smiled at her. "That's my line, partner." We all chuckled at that. Phillips pointed to the lap top. 

"The guys managed to crawl in through a HVAC duct and plant this camera in a ceiling vent. It's not perfect but we can see most of the room by moving it carefully by remote control. Agent Malo is on that now. They watched as the camera slowly panned the room from above in a steady, slow pattern. The hostages came into view. They were bound hands and feet with black, silky cord and lined up against the wall, sitting on their bound hands. That must be uncomfortable at best, painful at most. Mulder absently noted the cord and turned to Phillips. "Is that parachute cord?" 

"Maybe, why?" 

"Doesn't chafe. It can be tied tight and certainly can cut off the circulation if you struggle, but it won't tear the skin." 

"And?" Phillips asked with a confused look on his face. "We don't know what he plans for the hostages. We're worried about that. We've asked him to release them, obviously as a gesture of good faith, but he just laughed at us. He won't tell us what his plans are, other than to talk to you." 

"How old are they?" 

"They all appear to be all in their early to late thirties. The one guy might be late twenties," Phillips answered. "We don't have an I.D. on them yet." 

"He won't let them go without getting something in return. But he doesn't want to hurt them. They are just bargaining chips." 

"How do you know?" he inquired. 

"Because two are women, NOT his gig. And the guys are too old to meet his profile. While I could be wrong, I don't think so. He wants something, but I don't know what. Has he asked the hostages to do anything?" 

"Not yet." 

"Good, I'm probably right, then." 

I nodded. Scully spoke up. "So, what does he want?" 

I looked at her. "Me." 

Scully, Skinner and Phillips all looked at me then, waiting for more of an explanation. "I can't give you the details obviously. But he knows my profile got him caught. He wants revenge. What kind of revenge I don't know. At his sentencing hearing, he yelled out in court that someday he would make me pay." 

Two officers approached with Kevlar vests that we strapped on over our work clothes. The placed small wires and mics inside the vests, and ear pieces for communication in our ears. We were wired for sound now. She mumbled something about being glad she wore slacks and sensible shoes that day. I grinned. "Planning on having to run, Scully?" 

She smiled. "Hope not, but it's ironic I wore black, leather flats today." 

"Why? Come to think of it, you always wear heels." 

"My low back was killing me, more than usual, and I couldn't stand the thought of heels today." 

"Why is your back hurting? Did you hurt yourself?" 

She gave me an exasperated look like I was the stupidest male on the planet and then said, "No, Mulder, it's a Female thing. Something's coming in a couple of days, ya know?" 

Oh. Ooppss. I looked away sheepishly and she laughed. 

They were all silent for a moment. Phillips pointed to the police officer holding a megaphone near by. I mumbled but I know they heard it. "Let the games begin." 

I sounded a lot more casual and in control than I felt. Scully started to follow me and I turned to give her the 'stay put' look. She looked right back at me and gave me the 'forget it' look. 

I shook my head slightly, hearing Skinner and Phillips chuckle behind me and resumed my walk to the megaphone. The officer handed it to me without a word and I crossed to the middle of the street in front of the building. There was a double glass door for an entrance, but the rest of the building was brick. You couldn't easily see inside the door. All the lights were out although I could see a beam of light moving inside that was probably a flashlight. There was one small louver window about head height that was closed and revealed nothing. 

Scully stood a respectable distance behind me but close by and waited silently. 

I raised the megaphone to my mouth. Took a deep breath and spoke loudly into the mouthpiece. "O.K., Spinks, I'm here. What the hell do you want?" 

The beam of light stopped moving from inside the door and moved out of sight. I kept my eyes peeled on the front door when Scully said, "Mulder, the window." 

I looked up to see the window being opened slightly. The bottom of it swung out a couple of inches and that grating voice I remembered from the past hollered out the window. 

"Fohoxaroooooo! Glad you could join the party!" Cavalier son-of-a-bitch, I thought. 

"What do you want, Spinks?" 

"You don't know?" 

"No, why don't you enlighten me." 

"Awww, now I thought you would be a more worthy opponent in this game." 

"I'm not going to play any game, Spinks! Tell me what the hell you want so I can give it to you and get those hostages released. I'd like to be home for supper." 

His cackling laugh wafted out over the pavement and I glanced back seeing many officers and agents flinch at the sound of it. It was the laugh of the criminally insane, full, high-pitched and totally amused. 

"I don't think you'll make it home for supper, Foxaroo." 

I cringed at the use of my name as a joke. I hated it to begin with, but the tease he was putting on it made it even worse. It really did sound like a joke of a name. Complaining about it would get me nowhere, I realized. I shook my head. "O.K., no dinner for me. What do you want?" 

There was silence for a moment and then he said. "I want to play a game with you." 

"What game?" 

"You have to come in here." 

"O.K., I'll come in, but you have to let the hostages go." 

He laughed again. "Don't insult me, Foxaroo. I'm not stupid, even you know that." 

Unfortunately, I did. The man was not stupid. In fact, he was enormously clever and knew how to play on people's weaknesses. He knew how to ferret them out and then use them against you. He'd done it with me during the investigation. He knew I was part of the team looking for him. Why he singled me out, I'll never know. But the last few killings, he'd left notes on the victims, taunting my inadequacies and my inability to catch him. I remembered one note vividly. It read: 'Aren't foxes supposed to be wily? Why can't you figure me out? I was hoping for better. Maybe because you like punishment.' 

Somehow this bastard had found out about my proclivity for having a guilty conscious and played on it, making me feel like it was MY fault that these people were dead. Intellectually, I knew that wasn't true, but emotionally, I had almost played right into his hands. I was determined that was not going to happen this time. 

"I know you're not stupid, Spinks, but you have to give these people out here something. This whole building is surrounded, including the roof. You aren't going anywhere. They are not going to risk a Federal Officer without some show of good faith." 

"Ooo, yeah, I guess you are a FEDERAL officer, aren't you? But I don't think that you are well liked. Maybe they would risk you. Are you sure?" 

I swallowed hard, not able to answer that question. Scully whispered behind me. "Don't you dare feed into that bullshit, Mulder. He asked for you and you are the most important person on this scene right now, and everyone here knows it." 

I took a deep breath, silently thanking her for the needed boost. She caught me before I could spiral into self-doubt. "Well, since you want to talk to me, it would be pretty stupid to get me killed off right away, don't you think?" 

He chuckled. "You may have a point there." 

"So if I come in there, what are you going to do for me?" 

Scully hissed. "You are NOT going in there!" 

I reached my hand back behind me in a gesture to indicate that she back off and have patience. I could feel her relax behind me. I did plan on going in there, but she didn't need to know that yet. Let her think it was a ploy. 

After several long moments he said, "O.K., I'll tell you what. Since I'm anxious to get this show on the road. I'll give you ONE hostage if you come in here, unarmed." 

"Deal. Bring one of them to the doorway in plain sight." 

I heard Scully gasp. "I'll give you one of the women." 

"Fine." 

"Get over here, then." 

"Can an officer come over there to collect the woman?" 

"No, but your partner can." 

"NO!" I shouted. "Leave her the hell out of this!" I realized my mistake immediately. I'd just given him something to work with. Judging by my instant and violent reaction to involving Scully, he knew that she was a weak point for me. Damn it! I knew better. 

"Ahhh, ha!" he shouted. "Yes, indeed. You haven't gotten any smarter, have you Fox-man." 

I sighed. "Shit," I mumbled. 

Scully placed a hand on my forearm. "It's O.K., Mulder. I'll go and grab her as she comes out. It's not a big deal. You can block me. Get in between us so I can get her away. She'll probably be more comfortable with a woman grabbing her anyway." 

I had to concede, I knew I had no choice now. He wouldn't change his mind. And Scully was right. The woman was probably terrified and might freak if a man grabbed her as she came out the door. 

"Deal," I growled. He laughed and the window closed. I set the megaphone down on the pavement. I approached the door at an angle, gun drawn. Scully followed closely behind. 

The glass door vibrated as we pressed up against the wall to the left of the door. He had slammed into it with the woman in his arms. I saw why now. She wasn't struggling, but he had an automatic rifle cradled along his right forearm and was trying to maneuver her with one arm around her waist. He had removed the bindings on her legs, but her hands were still tied and pressed between their bodies, making his hold on her awkward. 

I stepped one step away from the building and he showed me his teeth in a feral grin. There he was, Kramer Spinks. One of the most revolting individuals I'd ever had the bad luck to encounter. He was going bald on the top. And his stringy, dark brown hair fell in thin ropes to below his shoulder blades. His beard was half grown and two of his front teeth were rotted and brown. He was wearing camouflage pants and jacket. 

I wrinkled my nose, imagining that I could smell him through the door, even though I knew that was impossible. The hostage was panting, her eyes wide and rolling in her head in absolute terror. But she wasn't making a sound. 

He shouted through the glass. "Drop your weapon, RIGHT NOW!" Somehow, he managed to maneuver the muzzle of his rifle to her right temple. She went dead still and then limp in his arms. She'd passed out. I heard him curse as I set my Sig on the pavement and put one foot on top of it, kicking it gently into the street. 

I could feel the atmosphere behind me in the street and on the sidewalk behind me. The officers and agents were all holding their collective breath at this point. Kramer Spinks was not a stupid man. Rather clever in fact. And in spite of his nasty appearance and nasty demeanor, he had an odd kind of honesty about him. He had said that he would release a hostage and I believed him. He abhorred liars. That was one of things I'd discovered about him so long ago. 

His family, especially his step father had lied to him all his life. During a taped confession before his trial he had railed against his dead step father, repeating how the man had always told him he wouldn't hurt him a bit, he wouldn't let anything happen to him. And it always did. Kramer was always raped and then threatened in various ways to keep his mouth shut. He hated his mother because of her nonintervention in the situation, for not saving him. But he hated his step father more. There was war going on inside him. He had turned into the thing he hated most, a sodomite, just like dear old step dad. 

After my gun was safely away and I was blocking his vision of Scully, he cracked the door open, aiming his rifle directly at my head. I held my hands up and he said, "Back up a couple steps. I stepped back slowly, giving Scully time to back out of the way. She peered around my shoulder. He smiled that evil smile at her and said, "Red, come here." 

I swallowed the bile in my throat. "No, just hand her to me, Spinks. I swear, I'll come inside. You know that I won't lie to you about this." 

"And you know I'll let her go, but I said your partner was to come over here." 

Scully looked at me. "It's all right, Mulder." She stepped around me before I could stop her and the door swung open. 

"Scully, NO!" I shouted, knowing that was what he was waiting for. 

I saw the smile of triumph on his face a second too late as he lobbed the woman into my arms and grabbed Scully by the arm, yanking her hard and literally tossing her past his body in through the door. 

I roared, "NO, YOU FUCKING SON-OF-A-BITCH! I thought you didn't lie!" 

I caught the woman neatly under the arms as she crashed into my chest a moment before I roared at Spinks. Two officers were behind me with a stretcher in about two seconds as I had begun to lower her to the ground and make a break for the door. I was too late. 

The officers grabbed the woman's limp body and I lunged, trying to lodge my foot in the door, but it slammed shut. He grinned at me and shouted. "I didn't lie. I just said your partner could approach, no one else." 

Just then a bullet whizzed by his head and put a perfect hole in the glass, not shattering it. He spun and leaped away from the door. That had to be Scully's bullet. She'd aimed from the floor, aimed up so as not to hit anyone outside, but she'd missed, by a hair's breath. I heard her yelp in pain and my stomach took up residence somewhere in my throat. Fuck this. 

I back up and grabbed up my weapon off the pavement. I lunged for the door and yanked on it, knowing it was locked. I banged the butt of my gun against the glass as I shouted. "Spinks! Open this door right now, you evil son-of-a-bitch, or I'm breaking the fucking thing down. You hurt my partner, and I'll take you out right through this door!" I stepped back and aimed my Sig through the glass. 

I heard Skinner yelling, "Agent Mulder!" But I ignored him. 

He came to the door again after what seemed an eternity and calmly threw the lock. He said, "Drop your gun." 

I clicked the safety and tossed it away. I figured now was not the time to be gallant and throw away the derringer that was strapped to my ankle. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 

He cracked the door open, placing the butt of his rifle against my Adam's apple. He opened the door and gestured with his head for me to come in. 

I stepped carefully around the butt of the gun and despite my fear, I moved my head around instantly, searching for Scully. Her hands were bound with parachute cord and he had hooked it over a wooden spike that was sticking out of the wall. Something must have hung there at one time. Her arms were stretched above her head. Her feet were flat on the floor, but barely. I looked back at Spinks. He was a full 3 or 4 inches shorter than me, but built like a weight lifter. His arms were nearly as big as my thighs. 

"Now," he said. "No more bullshit. Sit down and sit on your hands. I did, slowly lowering myself to the floor, knees bent and placed my hands under my upper thighs. "Straighten your legs." 

I did. He looked around and I realized that he was out of cord. Hadn't planned on tying up this many people, huh? Asshole. I didn't dare move with the gun pointed at my head, but I looked at Scully with a look that said how sorry I was. She shook her head in the negative as if to say, it wasn't my fault. 

Bullshit. The old familiar guilt swallowed me up and I shook myself hard, mentally. I couldn't afford to indulge in that right now. I had to keep a clear head and try not to let this bastard play me again. 

Finally, he smiled and walked over to Scully. He placed the rifle on a table nearby and picked up her gun that he had obviously taken away from her and put on the table. He held the smaller, easier to handle weapon against her temple. I saw her body go rigid and I gritted my teeth. I decided to try and play on his sense of fair play. He liked to trade things. I remembered that he would always want some personal information on his interrogator. He would cough up a confession to a murder for every personal question he asked that was answered truthfully. 

"You've got two of us, Spinks. That's not fair. Why don't you let another hostage go? You did lie to me. You said I could trade myself for a hostage. Not both of us for one hostage. That's not fair. You said nothing about my partner. The deal was one hostage for ME, that's it. 

He spun. "All in good time, Agent Mulder. First, I have to restrict your movement." 

He reached behind him and pulled a six inch hunting knife from a sheath strapped to his belt. I hadn't seen it under the camouflage jacket. He yanked Scully's Kevlar off and discovered the wire which he ripped off instantly and tossed on the floor, cremating it with his boot heel. He pulled her white blouse out of her black slacks and I held my breath. Oh God. Please don't humiliate her this way, I thought. 

No such luck. 

One swipe of the knife from bottom to top and he'd split the blouse right up the middle, buttons flying. She gasped but made no other sound, her eyes fixed on his face. He put the gun down and grabbed her with one hand on each side of her rib cage and moved her to the side so he could reach her back. I sprung to my feet, but the blade went instantly to her neck and I sank back down. I cringed seeing his filthy hands on her. I wanted to shout at him, but knew it wouldn't help our cause just then. He smiled a knowing smile and split her blouse up the back. He yanked to the halves away from her body and let her fall back against the wall again. 

She was wearing a white bra with lace covering the upper portion of her breasts above a seam that barely came above her nipples. Her arms raised above her head, pushed them slightly together and their fullness squished over the top of the lace. I was having trouble removing my eyes from her chest as Spinks circled around in back of me and tied my hands behind my back with her blouse. It smelled slightly of her perfume and the scent wafted lightly into my nostrils. I felt them flare and closed my eyes, feeling my groin stir at the combination of her smell and the sight of creamy expanse of skin. Her mid-drift was unmarred by any scars and freckles sprinkled lightly over her chest. 

I shook my head in disgust at myself. How could my body react to her at a time like this? He remained squatting behind me and used the cord he'd removed from the woman's feet bind my ankles. I hoped that the cotton material wasn't strong. I might be able to break it, but he had made a figure eight around my wrists. It wasn't going to be easy. 

I shook my pant leg and straightened my leg a little more to cover the derringer on my leg, but he saw it and raised my pant leg, running his hand along my calf and making me jerk away. He laughed. "What have we here?" He ripped the holster off my leg and I winced as the buckle scrapped my leg and left a red welt. He set it on the table. 

"You're not playing fair, Fox." 

"You said drop my weapon, not weapon(s)." 

He chuckled. "Well, Mr. Semantic boy, I suppose I can't fault you there, since I did the same thing regarding your partner, now, didn't I?" 

"I've been thinking that you are right. These hostages are a pain in the ass, but I needed some insurance. Now I've got you. What better insurance is that? I have TWO federal agents in my possession. And oh, I am going to have so much fun with you." 

"Let the hostages go!" 

I wanted to ask that he let Scully go, but I knew I had to get the civilians out first, much as it pained me. I glanced at Scully and her look was reassuring. She understood what I was doing and agreed. 

He went over to the other whimpering female against the wall behind us and yanked her to her feet. He leaned down and carefully untied her legs. She yelped but then clamped her mouth shut. She was a pretty woman in her mid thirties, Oriental, long black hair hanging down her back. He calmly walked her to the door and I whispered down to my chest. "He's letting another one go." 

He turned from the door. "What did you say?" 

"I said, thank god you're letting another one go. They're innocent, Spinks and you don't need them anymore. You have me, and my partner. Why don't you let them all go." 

He hadn't removed my Kevlar yet, and didn't seem to realize that I probably had a wire too. Maybe he wasn't as smart as I first thought. That illusion was shattered a moment later. 

He opened the door and shoved the woman out harshly. She stumbled but then regained her feet as officers raced to her side and pulled her away from the building to a waiting stretcher. He came back over and squatted in front of me. He leaned forward and his bad breath nearly made me gag. I swallowed harshly. He leaned into toward my chest and spoke directly to my Kevlar. 

"No, siree. I don't think I'll let the others go just yet. I like girls, believe it or not, but I like boys better. And although they're a bit old for me, I might make an exception. I've been in prison a long time." He cackled again then and I realized he knew my wire was there and was quite proud of the fact that he was using it to his advantage to taunt the officers outside. 

I guess he'd made his point that he was smarter than the rest of us, because he released the Velcro of my vest then and pulled it over my head. 

He ripped away the wire and treated to the same thing as Scully's. Great, now they wouldn't know what was going on in here. But wait! There was still the camera, but it had no sound. 

I glanced behind me to find both men, formally propped against the wall, both lying on their sides with their faces to the wall. I don't know when he moved them and they were silent. I couldn't tell if they were conscious or not. He removed her blouse from my wrists and rebound them with the cord he'd removed from the second female hostage. This was much more secure than the blouse, not that I would go anywhere without Scully anyway. 

He moved back to Scully and cupped one of her breasts. "I haven't had one of these in a long time," he mused. 

I growled. I couldn't help myself. "Keep your hands off her, you pervert!" 

He laughed as she went stiff against the wall and bit her lip. He turned, smiling at her and she spit in his face. 

Oh, Scully, not a good move. He jerked back, wiping the spit off his cheek with his sleeve. "You bitch!" He back handed her across the cheek hard enough to make her head snap back. 

He stood looking at her as if contemplating something. I had to keep him talking. "What do you want, Spinks?!" 

"I want to humiliate you Fox. Isn't it obvious? You humiliated me by painting me as a crazy psychopath and socially inept human being in court. Your testimony and profile took my life away. Now I'm going to show you who is smarter, and which one is inept. We may even discover things about each other." 

"For instance, it's obvious to me that this little chicky is very, very important to you. But I knew that already. I've been watching you since I got out. Took me a few days to reach D.C. from Texas. You are so predictable. You have a very predictable routine when you're in town, don't you? Baaahooorrrring! God, you're a loser. Good looking loser, but a loser all the same." 

I glared at him. "You're too old for my preference too, but I may have to make due." 

I gagged out loud at the mere thought of this man touching me. He cackled that spine cringing laugh again and Scully said, "If you want to humiliate him, then what am I doing here?" 

My eyes snapped up to hers. She sounded as though she didn't give a damn about me but I knew that wasn't true. It was ploy. If he would untie her or give her any advantage she might be able to help get us out of here. I knew what she was doing but I still flinched at the flat tone of her voice. Her eyes met mine briefly, conveying her intent. Her eyes said, 'Don't be stupid, you know I don't mean it.' 

Spinks was looking at her curiously. "Ahh, so little chicky isn't as enamored of her partner as he is with her, eh?" 

"Mulder is not enamored with me, you asshole. We're just partners. Certainly we want to get out of here with nobody getting dead, but you're making way too many assumptions here." 

"You think?" He smiled a truly evil smile then and looked at me. 

"You mean to tell me she doesn't know?" 

"Know what, you asshole?" she asked. She was trying to draw his attention back to her. 

Scully, don't do this, I thought. 

I spoke up. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." 

"Don't you?" 

I shook my head in the negative. He sighed. "God, you're not nearly as fun as I thought you'd be. You're disappointing me, Fox." 

"Oh, that's a bummer," I deadpanned. He laughed again. It was not easy to insult this asshole. I thought if I got him mad, he would focus on me and leave Scully alone. 

"You are such a wussy. You've never told her how you feel, have you?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

He chuckled again. "Maybe this is going to be fun after all." 

The next few minutes were a horror, as he untied my legs and stripped off my pants and boxers. I sat there in nothing buy my light blue oxford dress shirt, trying to keep it covering my crotch. He laughed when I shifted to the side trying to accomplish my goal. He bound my legs again but left some space between them and I knew what was coming. I felt the bile rise in my throat again. 

Oh God. That bastard is going to touch me. Scully discreetly kept her eyes averted, bless her little heart. Well, if he wanted to humiliate me, he was certainly succeeding. Then he took his knife and sliced the bottom six or seven inches off my shirt so that it would cover nothing. He unbuttoned it and let it hand at my sides, below my suit coat. He replaced his knife its sheath and retrieved Scully's Sig. 

"Stand up," he ordered. I hesitated and he pointed the gun at me. I gingerly rolled onto one hip and stood, glad to be off the cold wooden floor. He turned to Scully and said, "Look at him." 

She hesitated but then brought her eyes to mine. She didn't look down. She kept gazing directly into my eyes, trying to reassure me. Spinks walked to the door and released a Venetian blind I hadn't even noticed before and it covered the glass of the window making a little bell on the top tinkle in protest. I was humiliated knowing that camera was in the ceiling. Hopefully Skinner would direct the cameraman to keep it off Scully's chest and my crotch if he could help it. 

But then my heart sank as he walked over to a chair, dragged it to below the vent and stood on it. He stuck his knife in the edge and pried the corner down, the tiny camera attached to a wire, falling out of the hole he'd made. He picked it up with his free hand and held it in front of his face. "You didn't think I heard you assholes up there? How stupid do you think I am? The rest of this party is for me alone, I'm afraid. If you try to storm this place or get inside or take me out, someone in here will die, starting I think with Agent Red, over there." 

He then casually, pulled the tiny camera off the end of the wire and jumped down, crushing it under his boot heel like our wires. 

I saw Scully close her eyes and reopen them slowly, tracking him as he came back to stand behind me. I stiffened. He growled at Scully. "Look at us." 

She met my eyes again and held there. He grabbed one of my ass cheeks in each hand and squeezed them making me flinch. "Now Agent Red, obviously, your wussy partner here was too much of a milk toast to tell you what he does at night." 

"I don't care what he does at night," she replied calmly. "That's outside of work hours and none of my business." 

"Oh, ho, but I think you might want to know about this. It concerns you." 

I hung my head. He slapped my chin by snaking a hand under my armpit. I raised my head and he fondled my pectoral muscle, pinching my nipple hard. I hissed at the pain of it. "Get your hands off me!" I growled. 

He laughed. "Oh, no, I haven't even gotten started." 

He extracted his hand from under my armpit and then reached around. I twisted away as he reached for my groin. I felt his left hand press the gun into my spine. "Hold still." His voice was quiet and menacing. 

He reached down and grabbed my flaccid member and gently began drawing his fingers up from the base, tugging gently, pulling the skin over my head and letting it retract. To my horror, I felt myself start to get hard and flinched away again. "I said HOLD STILL!" he shouted in my ear. 

"Agent Scully, is it? Are you watching?" She glared at him. 

"You are a sick fuck, you know that? I have no interest in whatever you're doing." 

"Oh really? I did hear you were a bit reserved. Perhaps that's because you're frigid. Or perhaps that's just a misnomer. Neither here nor there, we're here to talk about foxy Fox Mulder, and he is definitely NOT frigid. Did you know that I've been watching him? I can see his whole living room and bedroom." 

I shuddered as I tried to figure out where the camera was hiding. Christ, I had to get out of that building. Seemed everybody and their brother could get into those apartments surrounding mine and install fucking cameras. What's up with that, anyway? 

Both hands came around me from behind this time. One cupped my balls and the other began tugging on my penis again. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to think of fluke men, fat sucking killers and green goo. It was no use. It worked for a second but then the feel of his gross paw sliding over me began to have an effect. I hardened in his hand despite my best efforts. I gulped and hissed out through gritted teeth. "What are you doing, Spinks? Can't you just take me in the other room, take what you want and leave my partner out of this?" 

"Nope. This is all for her." 

"Bullshit!" 

He chuckled. "Well, not really. It's for me, but having her here is a bonus." 

Scully said, "Just because you get off on watching, doesn't mean I do." 

He smiled at her. "Sassy one isn't she?" he asked. He pulled on me more firmly, gripping me just right and I felt a surge of blood in my shaft and couldn't help the groan that escaped me. I hung my head. 

"You bastard!" I ground out through clenched teeth. 

"You like this, huh, Fox?" 

"No, I DO NOT LIKE THIS!" 

"Then why are you getting hard for me, big boy?" 

Scully cut in at this point. "Because it's a natural physiological response to tactile stimulation. He can't help it any more than you could. I bet you got hard when when daddy pulled on your wank too, didn't you?" 

That's my scientific Scully. 

He squeezed me until I winced. "Shut up, you bitch!" 

Scully was trying to bring his attention back to her and as humiliating as this was, I didn't want that. If it kept his focus off her, he could whack me off. I would be humiliated, but what else was new? I didn't want her to be too. She seemed so stoic and unconcerned about her level of nakedness. Of course, she still had her pants on. 

I lifted my head to hers and shook my head trying to tell her to stop. Naturally, she didn't listen. "So you delude yourself thinking that my partner is responding to YOU. You're a scum bag and you always will be. But he's a real man and he obviously responds to being touched, it's a natural bodily function. He doesn't need to play games to get off like you do!" 

He shouted again. "Shut up! I'm going to tell you something you didn't know about your partner. He does play games. Mind games. He plays them all the time and you are the star!" 

"Spinks, do NOT DO THIS!" I shouted. 

He laughed. "Why not? Embarrassed Foxaroo? Don't want her to know that you go home nearly every night and jack off on your couch thinking about her? That you lust for her body?" 

I heard Scully gasp and choked out, "Scully, I'm so sorry." 

He continued, sealing my fate I thought. If he continued, Dana Scully would never talk to me again. The pain of that thought shot through me and I felt my erection wither in his hand. 

Good, I thought. Emotional pain was good for something! 

"Oh yeah. He doesn't even watch those videos of his anymore. They're gathering dust. He just pulls out all these pictures he has of you and spreads them out on the coffee table. Sometimes he sits on the couch. Sometimes he lays down, and sometimes he just kneels between the couch and coffee table and jerks off." 

"He's a normal healthy man. He doesn't want to catch any diseases by fucking anything that moves. Why shouldn't he jerk off?" 

If this situation wasn't so grave, I might have laughed hearing those words come out of Scully's mouth. She was being crude and on his level, but still very logical and scientific, deflecting his arguments skillfully. Only she could manage to be crude and clinical in the same breath. 

He resumed stroking me but pulled the other hand back and I felt his finger slide in between my ass cheeks. I clenched them together and bucked my hips away from him but this just pushed me into his hand and I choked on a moan again. "Oh yeah, remember this one, Fox? Remember when you knelt on the couch with one of her pictures and jerked off. But then you reached back here." 

He stabbed his finger at my anus quick and hard and I gasped as he slid past my tight muscle up to his first knuckle. "Remember that. You reached back here and put your finger in a little ways. Then you twirled it around like this." 

He began slowly working his finger in my ass, pushing on my prostate gland and I felt myself harden almost to the point of pain. God Damn It! I couldn't help it. The slight pain had receded almost immediately and his moving finger was only in a little ways but it was making my cock throb. The tears began poring down my face and my head had to be red as beet. I hung my head, not knowing what to do. 

"So this isn't new, is it Fox? You've had your own finger in here. Maybe not this far." With that, he slid his finger in up to his hand and I shouted, gritting my teeth against the slight pain and the rush of swelling in my cock that followed it. 

"But you've been in here. That was one of your best orgasms in a long time, wasn't it. I remember laughing as I watched you come, your hips bucking, your mouth open and moaning her name. That's how I knew your name, Agent Scully. Still don't know your first one, though. You two are weird, using each other's last names." 

I heard Scully gasp again. The ultimate humiliation. This animal had his hands on me and I was going to come. In front of Scully. I was going to come from another man's hands fondling me in front of the only person in the world who's opinion mattered me. 

Just then, Scully spoke again and what happened next was the quite possibly the most bizarre experience of my life. "Hey, Spinks, is this doing anything for you?" she asked. 

I looked at her with a pleading expression on my face. What the fuck was she doing!? He looked at her and said, "Well, no, not really, other than the slight thrill of knowing this is humiliating him." 

"You like to watch don't you?" she asked. 

I moaned low, "No, Scully, don't." 

She wouldn't look at me now. "Yeah, I do," he replied. "Guess old Foxy filled you in on my profile, huh?" 

"Some. He said you like to make your victims do it front of you. That you really got off on it before you took them for yourself. That you had to see the action before you could get your limp dick up enough to do the deed yourself!" 

Oh Scully, what the FUCK are you doing? My mind screamed but nothing came out. I had to concentrate to hard on not coming. 

I squealed as his finger was ripped backwards out of my ass. My legs felt like water from the suddenly released tension. I fell to my knees as he stalked over to Scully and unhooked her bra. He peeled it away and fondled her breasts. "You're going to pay for that bitch. You don't think I can get it up? I can get it up, but I have my preferences sure. But that doesn't mean that I CAN'T get it up for YOU, or without watching." 

She grunted as he pinched her nipples. I saw her grimace in pain, but she didn't cry out. 

"Scully, no, please," I whispered. I looked up at her, grateful to feel my erection had died as soon as his filthy hands had been taken away. At least I knew it was just the physical aspect of it and not that I wanted that sicko to touch me. 

She looked at me and then at him. "What if I wanted to make you a deal?" 

"A deal?" 

"Yeah, a deal?" 

"What kind of deal?" he asked. 

"You let those hostages go over there." He snorted. "And I'll let you watch." 

"Scully, no, don't do this." 

Kramer smiled. "Watch what, honey?" 

"Well, it might not be as good as two small boys for you, but you could watch my partner take me." 

"Scully! Don't DO THIS!" 

God, just knowing that she was willing to make this kind of sacrifice for me was mind boggling. 

"Ooo, Fox, your partner is a lot better at knowing how to please me than you are. I think I'd like that. Do you want to fuck your partner, Fox?" 

"NO!" 

Her eyes met mine and I tried to convey what I was feeling. She didn't have to do this. I didn't want her to do this. I didn't want to touch her under these circumstances. I croaked, "No, not like this. Not like this." 

"You don't? Could have fooled me. Remember, I've seen all those late night jerk off sessions. You can't even get to sleep anymore can you? Unless you do that first." 

I raised my face to Scully, tears flowing down my face. I couldn't stop them and I burned with a sense of loss I'd never felt in my life. And I'd lost a lot. But I'd always had Scully's respect. Now he was going to shred that too. I didn't know if I would be able to live with that. But I had to get us out of here alive in order to find out. I didn't even care about myself anymore. Without Scully's trust and respect, my life was over. But hers didn't have to be. 

I didn't want anything in my life, not even the truth, as much as I wanted to make love to Scully. But I wanted to do it in a bed, with candles and soft music and clean sheets, not at gun point. This would ruin our relationship, if there was anything left of it at this point anyway. She didn't need to subject herself to my rutting in order to appease this man. 

"Just jerk me off and get it over with!" I nearly screamed. "You want me humiliated and that will do it. Nothing will humiliate me more than coming in front of my partner from your hands! You KNOW that. Now just leave her out of it and do it. Get it over with!" 

He was silent for a moment. "Nope. I do believe that your scenario would humiliate you. But this is better. She means everything to you, doesn't she? And forcing you together like this will kill her friendship and respect for you. That will be much more hurtful and humiliating than anything I could ever do to you, wouldn't it?" 

Damn this psycho for being so fucking smart! "Yes, indeed. AND!" he exclaimed. "It will have the added benefit of turning ME on. This will be even better if I can get off too." 

**"NOOOOOO!"**

"YYYEEESSS!" he mocked. "Unless you'd rather watch ME fuck her? How would that be? Would you like that, Fox? Only I would have to fuck her ass to get anything out of it. She's tiny, like a little boy. I bet it's really tight in there." 

Oh God. Scully's eyes were pleading with me. She didn't have to say it. Don't let that happen to me! Not him. 

I whimpered, "O.K., I'll do it." 

Scully looked up at her bound hands. He unhooked her, leaving her tied. He maneuvered her to the table and bent her over it at the waist. I watched as he pushed her down, her creamy breasts being pushed into the wooden table. He reached in front and undid her slacks, ripping them down her legs. "Step out of them," he commanded. 

She did as he said and he proceeded to cut her panties off. The scrap of white cotton floated to the floor between her legs. He fondled her ass, spreading her cheeks and I saw her whole body tense. "Let's just do this Spinks! We have a deal now, remember?" 

He sighed and stood her up and turned her around, just looking at her. Her lips were in a tight line as though she were preparing for battle. She was going to have sex with me against her will, just choosing the lesser of two evils. My heart was shattering into a million pieces. 

He walked her back over to the wall and hung her ties over the peg again. She stood there against the wall, in all her tiny, naked splendor. She glanced at my face, her eyes calm and resolved. "You have to let the hostages go, Spinks, or no deal," she uttered. "You don't get his for nothing." 

He put his finger on his lips as though considering and then nodded his head. He went over to the opposite wall and rolled the two men over. They groaned and he untied their legs, leaving their hands tied. "Stand up and get out of here." 

They staggered to their feet and headed for the door, one behind the other. He stayed near the wall, watching. As the second man passed behind me, he fell to his knees. Spinks sputtered, "Get up, you dolt and get out of here before I change my mind." 

I realized it was ploy as the man whispered. "He's got C-4 in that bag over there." He then staggered to his feet and made his way to the door. 

Spinks asked, "What the hell did you say?" 

The man spoke up as he righted himself. "I said, I'll see you in hell." With that, the first man unlatched the door and they went out. Spinks sauntered over to the door and locked it. 

* * *

* * *

**PART 2 (NC-17)**  
**ABANDONED APARTMENT BUILDING**  
**ARLINGTON, VA**

He turned and stood me up. He cut off my suit jacket and my shirt. So much for that Armani. That was the least of my worries at this point. How was he going to play this? 

He looked at me bemused and untied my feet. He walked me over in front of my partner and stood me there, inches between our bodies. I could feel the heat and the fear washing over her. 

He retied my ankles. Then he untied my hands, using the gun as incentive for me not to try anything foolish. Oh God, would I be able to do this? 

There was no getting out of this. And knowing that this was Scully's idea didn't make me feel any better about it, or any less guilty. She should have never gotten inside this building in the first place. She was going to sacrifice her pride and let me use her body for this scum bag's entertainment, in order to save both of us from being touched by that pig. 

She looked me in the face and smiled one of her Mona Lisa smiles and I felt a lump the size of a baseball form in my throat. He wrapped my arms around her waist and retied my wrists, one crossed over the other. Well, this should be interesting. 

He stepped back and we both turned to look at him. This also helped me to studiously avoid gazing at her pink tipped breasts as they brushed my sparse chest hair and pebbled up into hard little knots. I shivered despite my best efforts and felt my dick start to grow hard. Christ, I was a sick bastard. 

Despite the stress and surreal nature of this predicament, my body betrayed me and reacted to being this near to her with no clothes on. It reacted like this when we were fully clothed, but I wasn't generally about to get my head blown off then! I needed to be aroused for this, I knew that. But the idea that our harrowing situation couldn't overcome my arousal said something about me, I thought. 

He began to strip his pants and boots off. He pulled up a chair several feet away and took a seat, taking himself in hand. We both turned away from that sight and our eyes met. 

I whispered to her. "Scully, I'm so sorry. I'll try to be gentle." 

She nodded. "I know you will. It's O.K., this was my idea, remember? It will be O.K. Much better you than him. I knew you wouldn't let me go through that if there was a way to prevent it." 

That thought sobered me for a minute. I guess I was a better choice. Gee, though, that wasn't exactly a stupendous endorsement. Anyone would be better than him. 

"But why would you do this?" I couldn't help asking, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. 

"Because anything that will get us out of here unmolested is a good thing." She leaned forward and rested her chin on my shoulder, her face blocked by my head and whispered in my ear. "Maybe we can bolt if he's distracted enough. Besides, I care about you, Mulder. This will be O.K. You'll see." 

I nodded. "And now I'm not the one molesting you?" 

"No, never." She paused. "Mulder, I WANT you to touch me. Obviously, we aren't getting out of here without someone getting touched. And I know you care about me. I at least want to feel cared for when I give my body. I don't want it to be TAKEN. I'm giving you my body, Mulder. You aren't taking anything." 

"Oh God, Scully. I don't know if I can do this." 

She leaned her hips into me and I surged from partially erect to throbbing hard in about two seconds. She purred in my ear. "Doesn't feel like it's going to be a problem." 

I groaned into her ear and heard Spinks cackle again. "O.K., enough chit chat. She's tiny enough, Foxaroo. Pick her up and fuck her. It's show time!" 

"Can I at least prepare her first, you animal?" 

He tipped his head to the side. "Sure, but don't take too long." 

I looked at Scully and she nodded. I stepped close and bent my knees. There wasn't a lot I could do, but I slipped my erection between her legs and began rubbing gently back and forth. I hissed at the sensation of her skin against my dick. Her eyes closed briefly then opened. She whispered, "Kiss me." 

I placed a chaste kiss on her lips and she sighed. She pulled back and said, "No, really kiss me. A lover's kiss. Make me forget he's sitting over there." 

I felt the tears sting my eyes, but I leaned down and covered her mouth with mine. She sighed as I lapped at her lips with my tongue and ran it over her gums. Her mouth opened and for the first time in seven years, I slipped my partner the tongue. 

I moaned when I felt her engage my tongue in a slow dance. And as absurd as it seems, the rest of the world did fade away. All I knew was that I was holding the woman I loved in my arms. She arched toward me but then I felt her wince when her binding tightened and pulled on her shoulders. 

I reached down and as best as I could with my arms bound, I caught her under her rear end and lifted her up. Her legs went around my waist. The feel of her silky, soft skin sliding against mine threatened to make my knees buckle, but I gritted my teeth and readjusted her so she was seated firmly. I resumed kissing her as she undulated her pelvis against me. I sucked on her bottom lip and that did it. 

She moaned lightly and I felt wetness coat my cock where it laid tucked between her folds. Oh my God. Even like this, she'd gotten wet for me. My head spun a little. Don't think, I told myself. It's just a 'physiological response' to stimuli, like she said, nothing to do with you. 

No sooner were those thoughts finished flickering across my brain when she said, "I'm ready, Mulder. Do it now. I'm wet for you." 

Not just 'I'm wet, it's O.K. now.' She said, 'I'm wet for you.' NO! Don't read into it. I leaned back slightly to look into her eyes. They always told me everything I needed to know. 

Spinks sputtered, "Get this fucking show on the road! No pun intended." Then he laughed like a demented hyena at his own joke. 

I remembered her comment and said, "Shut up, Spinks, the less you talk, the better we can make this for you." 

"O.K., I'll go for that. Just fuck her." 

I lifted her, holding her gaze as she perched on top of my erection. She glanced down and so did I. Good lord, I looked huge poised to enter between her legs, her slender hips flexing with the effort to hold the position. I groaned and looked at her again. Well, if she was never going to talk to me again, or at the very least, this was going to make us uncomfortable around each other and unable to work with each other, I might as well go for broke. I literally had nothing left to lose. 

I put my lips to her ear and whispered. "I love you, Scully. I'm so sorry. I never wanted it to be like this, obviously. But I do love you ... so much." She gasped a full-throated gasp, and I let her own weight sink her down over me. I stopped once embedded in her and bit back a moan. Sweet Jesus! She felt so good. 

She was hot, really tight and dripping wet. She flexed her internal muscles and I lost the rein I had on the moan and it came out. She moaned with me. I heard Spinks chuckle but then go silent. I didn't want to look at him and see if he was enjoying the show. I was afraid to look at Scully but figured, the cat was out of the bag now. She glanced over at Spinks. 

I pulled back and looked at her. "Scully, you feel so good. Don't think about him. Look at me." I paused only a second and lifted her slightly. She moaned and began using her super toned thighs to lift herself. Her hands were still above her head but no longer pulling on her shoulders. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. She opened them again as I kept the pace slow. Her gaze locked with mine and she blew my mind with the words she whispered next. "You feel so good. Only you could make this O.K. You're beautiful." 

We both had tears now and kissed as I sped up slightly, feeling some of the strength leech out of my legs. Her breath was hitching with every stroke. In between little gasps, she panted out, "Put me against the wall." 

I took a half a step forward and lifted her higher and pressed her against the wall, my arms acting like a tiny shelf for her butt as I bowed over her. I couldn't resist and leaned down to take her breast in my mouth. The groan that escaped her then make me feel dizzy. 

"Oh God, Mulder!" 

I felt a surge of heat from within her walls and they began to spasm slightly, tickling my cock and making me throb. I didn't have any hopes of making this any good for her. I just didn't want to hurt her. But I'll be damned if she wasn't responding to me! No! It was just physical. 

She began to tip her hips forward and brush her clit against my pubic bone with each thrust that I used to pin her against the wall. I groaned and straightened up. She whispered to me again, catching my eyes once more. "Do it harder now, Mulder." 

I shook my head, not wanting to hurt her by pounding against her when her back was against the unyielding wall. The corners of her mouth turned up as she saw me glance at the wall. "It's O.K. Do it hard and you'll make me come." 

HOLYSHIT! Did she just say what I think she just said? I heard the wet slap of Spinks' hand against his own flesh and tried to block it out. He was panting now and grunting slightly. Apparently, this was doing something for him. 

I felt myself begin to soften as I focused on his sounds and shook my head. I gripped her firmly, trying to cushion her as best I could with my arms and began to thrust up fast and hard into her. I hardened again instantly. She began tilting her pelvis with every thrust. "Yes, Yes," she panted. "Just like that." 

I thrust even harder and my head fell, sucking her nipple into my mouth and sucking hard. She came. Holy Mother of God, she just came. Her walls spasmed around my throbbing cock, pulling me deeper and gripping strongly. She muttered in my ear, "Ahh, Mulder, you feel good. It's O.K. Let go!" 

My balls coiled with tension, pulling up as I shouted her name. "God, Scully!" Then I let loose with a very undignified howl as I spurted into her several times. 

I heard Spinks shout once, "Ahh, Fuck yeah!" I shivered and went soft inside her, still holding her in place while she recovered. Her chest was red and flushed as she panted gently. Her head fell to my shoulders, her arms stretched above her. 

I chanced a glance at Spinks and sat with his head to the side, panting, his hand covered in spunk. I could feel mine begin leaking out of Scully but I couldn't do anything about it. She whispered. "Let me down now." 

I gently lowered her to her feet, slipping out of her and holding her close, unwilling to put a millimeter between us at this moment. While Spinks was still recovering from orgasm, she said, "You didn't have to do that, ya know?" 

"Do what?" 

"Say you loved me." 

"Look at me," I said firmly. 

She glanced up, looking confused and saddened. My heart broke all over again. "I meant it, Scully. I meant it." 

Her eyes misted and tears fell as her head went back to lean against my chest. This was obviously not the way I had wanted her to find out, but now that she knew, I didn't want her thinking that it was just a platitude to make this easier for her. 

My reverie was interrupted by Spinks, standing and yanking up his pants, wiping his come on his pants. Oh, very nice. How charming. Yak! 

* * *

This has been without a doubt, the most emotionally turbulent day of my life and that's saying something considering the work I've been doing for the last seven years. 

I was scared shitless when my partner said he was going to go into that building alone with that madman. I was scared shitless when said mad man held a gun to my head and a knife to my throat. 

I was humiliated and sickened when he cut my blouse and bra off. I felt Mulder's pain when that asshole put his hands on him. I could see the hurt, the utter devastation when he reacted to the touch. Utter humiliation. I had to let him know that I understood it and he shouldn't kick himself. But that would be like asking the ocean not to make a wave. 

I felt my heart break when he old me that Mulder touched himself thinking of me. He expected it to revolt me, but it didn't. I'd always wondered if he ever had. I had done the same thing too many times to count. But I figured he watched his films. What pictures of me did he have? 

Guilt, remorse, humiliation and devastation were what my partner did best sometimes. I realized that this idiot was using me against Mulder. Using Mulder's attraction for me to humiliate him further and I couldn't take it anymore. I'd been stunned that he was THAT attracted to me, but it didn't upset me the way Mulder obviously thought it would. It upset me that he'd never told me. 

I knew he was attracted to me. I'd caught him looking from time to time and I even enjoyed his occasional innuendo. But I knew I wasn't really his type, and I never dreamed there was anything more than a physical thing there from time to time. Guess I was wrong. Or he says so. God, I hope he's not lying to me. 

Mulder? Lie to me? No, he wouldn't. Especially about something like this. There was no modesty or dignity left to lose. So despite the situation that I arranged, to 'buy us some time' and distract our captor, I hadn't expected it to effect me so much. I would have done anything to keep that scumbag's hands off me and off Mulder. I thought I would be able to zone out and let it happen, remove myself mentally from what was happening, all for a good cause. I had no hope that Mulder would WANT to make love to me for real. I was attracted to him. I could do this and not get hurt emotionally. Right! 

The minute his skin touched mine, my nerve endings lit on fire. Even knowing that stupid psychopath was sitting 20 feet away, I lost myself in the feel of his skin and the taste of his mouth. Exquisite. He was so tender and caring, even asking if he could prepare me. He so didn't want to hurt me. It just made me love him more than I already did. What I couldn't tell him was that the moment I'd felt him hard against my belly, I'd been flooded with wetness and he wasn't going to have a problem. 

But as horrific as this had been, and we still weren't out of the woods yet, he'd made this as non-traumatic as it could be. It could have been a nightmare. But I wasn't lying. He'd made it something beautiful. And even though I thought that he was giving me reassurances and platitudes to make this easier for me, I loved him for it. I already loved him. I knew that before. But I'd never allowed myself to imagine actually acting on that love. And now he was trying despite this unbelievably ridiculous situation, to make sure I felt loved and not used. It was my idea for Christ's sake! 

I was happy with our friendship, our partnership and I wasn't going to ruin it. Sure, he probably would have had sex with me if I'd ever come on to him. He was a man, after all. But the morning after, knowing it was just sex, would have killed me. 

Now I'm standing here naked with my partner's arms tied around my back as he holds me tight, my arms still stretched above my head. And I'm post-coital. How the hell had that happened? Only Mulder could bring me to orgasm in this situation and then calmly tell me he meant every word he'd said. He loved me? He loved me THAT way! The implications were staggering, but I just didn't have time to contemplate it just now. 

Our resident mad man, unbound us from each other. All was silent. "So what now?" Mulder asked. 

Spinks looked at us. "I'm not sure. That was just too fun. We might just have to do it again." 

I said, "You do realize this building is surrounded by cops and eventually they are going to get tired of waiting." I was hoping that the longer we kept him occupied, the officers outside would come up with a plan. I didn't want to know what they would do when and if they found us naked. 

He stood, "I'll give them something to do." He took a cell phone out of his bag and dialed. 

Mulder leaned over and said, "The hostage told me that there was C-4 in that bag." 

I gulped at this realization. I peered at the bag and could see the white corner of something that definitely could be C-4. Shit. What now? 

Spinks spoke into the phone. "Agent Phillips, I presume? Yeah, put Skinner on the line." We watched anxiously as he waited. 

"A.D. Skinner, nice to see you again." 

Pause. 

"Oh, I can see you out there. Lost some more hair since the last time I saw you, have you?" 

Pause. 

"Listen, I need you to do some stuff for me." 

Pause. 

"I need one million dollars in unmarked $20 and $10 bills. I want a helicopter on the roof, sans pilot. I need a passport, Virginia drivers' license an a social security card with the name Spencer Martiff." 

Pause. 

"You have over night. I want it all by noon tomorrow." 

Pause. 

"No, I don't need a pilot. I know how to fly a bird. I was in Nam, too, just like you! Only I was a pilot." 

Pause. 

"No, I'll be keeping Bonnie and Clyde here as insurance. We are having so much fun! But if I don't see this stuff by 12:00 noon tomorrow, this building goes boom by 1:00 PM. 

* * *

The next 18 hours were hell and joy all rolled into one. Like an idiot, I'd asked him what was in the bag. He'd smiled and pulled out a block of C-4 that could take out a city block. He also pulled out a ready made bomb which we watched him set up on the table. 

He'd separated us and informed us that he could and would blow everything to kingdom come if we pissed him off enough. I knew that even after he got his jollies, he was not going to let us out of here. Maybe I could save Scully, but there was no way he was going to let me walk out of here. 

He told me that I'd stolen nine years of his life and nothing I could do could ever make up for that. However, he was going to do his level best to strip me my 'arrogance', and leave me with no self-respect and no secrets. 

He proceeded to regale Scully with stories of my masturbatory fantasies. The man knew every time I'd jerked off in the last month! Christ! Scully watched me, constantly trying to catch my eyes to reassure me. I couldn't look at her now though. He was achieving his goal. I was ruined emotionally. 

He left the room to use a bathroom and I rolled furiously over to Scully's feet. I levered up onto my feet, now numb from the bindings. I hissed in pain as I stood and felt blood trying to seep into my cold feet. I reached up with my tied hands and released Scully from her peg. 

I was frantically trying ot untie her when he returned. My fumbling fingers weren't quick enough. 

He lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. He whirled as Scully's hands landed on the derringer on the table. Before she could pick it up and bring it to bear with her tied hands, he grabbed her and slapped her in the face, wrestling her body back to the peg. He picked up a cord he'd used on the one of the male hostages and bound her ankles for the first time. There was blood in the corner of her mouth. He'd split her lip. And she hadn't made a sound. 

I tried to rise when he stuck out his tongue to lick her belly. He turned away from her to watch my pathetic attempts to rise again. He grabbed his crotch through his pants. Christ, he was excited by this struggle. 

He unzipped his pants and pulled himself out to stroke himself as he stuck out through his zipper. He stalked towards me and kicked me in the side causing me to tumble back down. He rolled me onto my stomach and began kneading my ass cheeks. 

I was sobbing with repressed rage and humiliation as I realized what he was planning. It was all over now. "Please, Spinks, not that. Jerk me off. Have me jerk you off. Anything but that!" Great, now I was reduced to begging, exactly what he wanted. 

Scully's voice cut through the air like a knife. "STOP! Time to make a deal again, Spinks." 

He stopped touching me and I felt him turn to her. 

"No, Scully." I sobbed. She'd suffered enough humiliation for one day. 

"Yes," she retorted. I wasn't sure if she was addressing him or me. 

"What do you want to do to save your partner now, chicky?" 

"You get off more from watching, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"You've been in prison for eight years, nine years, whatever." 

"Yeah." 

"You're horny as hell?" 

"Yeah, so what's the fucking point?" 

"So what would do it the most for you? What would you like to watch?" 

"Scully!" 

"Shush, Mulder." 

Spinks was silent for a moment. "It would take a lot to satisfy me, a lot to make up for giving that up." He pointed at Mulder. "And you'll do whatever I want if I agree not to take him myself?" 

"Yes," she stated in a firm voice. 

He rolled off the back of my thighs and strode over to her as I rolled onto my back and sat up against the pain in my hands and shoulders. 

He palmed her face, the way I had done on so many occasions and I nearly gagged on the sourness in my throat. I was so angry, so afraid for her and myself. I couldn't think, and couldn't speak. 

His voice was quietly challenging. "O.K. then, chickadee. I want to watch him fuck you again." 

She nodded. After a short pause, he said, "In the ass." He drew out the 's' in ass, and watched her eyes close slowly as she swallowed harshly. 

I finally found my voice. "Spinks, no! Just take me, whatever, but don't do this to her!" 

Scully cleared her throat. "O.K., Spinks. We'll play your sick game. I don't have anything more to lose. You've taken all my modesty. I'm no exhibitionist by nature but I know that's the only thing that will satisfy you, really. You've humiliated my partner enough, and I won't let him suffer that final indignity." 

Spinks eyed her curiously. "But you will allow yourself to suffer that indignity?" He sounded genuinely curious. 

"It won't be an indignity to me." 

"If taking it up the ass is an indignity to him, why wouldn't it be an indignity to you? How is it different? Got something against homosexuals, anyway?" 

"I'm not talking about the type of sex. I won't be being raped. I'll be giving myself willingly. You touch him and you're committing rape. Because he is definitely not willing." 

Spinks scowled but then smiled as if infinitely amused. "Interesting theory." 

"Scully?" I looked at her not knowing what to say. I tried to convey that she didn't have to do this. Once again, she was sacrificing her body to save mine. But it was more than that and we both knew it. This wasn't just about our bodies. I knew, and somehow she knew that if Spinks raped me, I probably would never recover. My sexual past was fucked up as it was and she knew that. Not that my present relationships were totally healthy either. But being raped would ruin any chance I had to ever have a normal, fulfilling relationship. It would break me mentally. I knew it. And she knew it. Not that it would do any less to her. 

But what about her? Dear God! What I was going to have to do to her! Had she even ever experienced it before? I had, but only once or twice, and there had been no tension, no force, and nothing at stake. Without proper preparation, it could be brutally painful. I didn't want to hurt her. She had to know that, but I doubted he would allow me to prepare her properly. 

And if he didn't, I would hurt her ... badly. That would almost be as devastating to me as being raped, because I would feel like I had raped her. Yes, she was offering her body, but she wasn't asking for pain. 

I felt the sweat break out on my forehead and fear curl in my gut. How the hell was I going to do this? Would I even be able to get excited? Of course, I had before, but there was a lot less chance of hurting her then. 

He untied my legs and retied my hands so that there was some rope between them. My feet screamed in protest as the blood flowed back into them. He did the same to Scully and pulled the bomb and other articles off the wooden table, placing them on the floor against the back wall. 

He surprised me when he spread my torn suit coat and shirt over the table. He picked Scully up and deposited her at one end of the table. He turned her around and bent her over the table. 

He came to me, gun in my spine and led me over to her. I could hear her rapid breathing. As he pulled up a chair, closer this time, I felt dizzy and slightly disoriented. I was flaccid and felt no desire. The fear was consuming me. 

He glanced at my crotch and laughed. "You can't fuck her with that worm, Foxy! Better figure something out to cure you little problem or I'll come over there and help you myself." 

I looked at him with all the loathing in my heart. "If I hurt her, I'll kill you for this." He just laughed again as if that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. 

I turned away from him and dropped to my knees. "What are you doing?" he asked. 

"Curing my problem," I muttered. And I thought to myself, 'And hopefully helping Scully." 

I spread Scully's legs carefully and ran my hands up the back of her thighs. I whispered to her. I couldn't seem to talk any louder. "I'm going to try to prepare you the best I can, Scully, as much as he'll let me, O.K.? Don't be startled." 

She replied softly in a voice laced with tenderness. "Do what you can, Mulder, but remember, I asked for this and no matter what happens, it's O.K. I know you would never hurt me intentionally. If you do, I know it's because you have no choice. And it will still be O.K. 

My throat closed up as Spinks said, "Aww, ain't that sweet. NOW GET ON WITH IT!" 

I flinched at his shout but then lowered my lips to her juncture. I shouldn't be wasting time talking. His patience was going to wear out quickly. 

I began sucking on her lips and jabbing my tongue inside her. She was hot but not swollen or damp. I could taste the residue of myself that had dried at her opening. I lifted my head and said, "Scoot back some." She did, so that her pubic bone was now hanging off the end of the table. 

Now I could reach everything. I whispered, "Help me, Scully. Touch your breasts. The more excited you are, the easier this will be." I felt her shift and put her bound hands under her body. 

I went at a furious pace, licking, sucking and raising my bound hands to brush her clitoris frantically. You had to be super relaxed for anal sex and I didn't see how she would be able to do that. This would probably hurt no matter what. 

I didn't even care that I was crying as I lapped at her. I had to get it together though, prepare her as best I could. I had enough rope between my wrists to rub her clitoris and put a finger inside her with my other hand. I angled down, looking for her G-spot, not really holding out any hope of finding it. 

A couple of seconds later, I was surprised by a groan and a flood of wetness around my fingers. My cock grew hard in response. 

I immediately scooped up her wetness on my fingers and began dragging it up to coat her anus. I pressed carefully, got some more wetness on my fingers and returned. I repeated this process several times. To my utter amazement, Scully was moaning. Her face was lying away from Spinks so she couldn't see him. I hoped she wasn't just faking it for his benefit. I began to work my finger inside her, then stood up. 

I was surprised by Spinks' patience. I figured he would have been pushing me by now. I glanced at him to see him standing about five feet away with no pants or underwear on. When had he taken his pants off? 

His low, aroused voice reached my ears. "Yeah, that's it, now we're getting somewhere. Yeah, honey, let me hear you." 

"Shut up," I growled. As if he realized he was distracting me, he backed up a step without protest. He had surprised me again. He must really want to see this to be so docile about it. 

Scully was panting hard and I whispered to her again as I began to work a second finger inside to stretch her. "Scully, try to relax. Try to breath slow, deep and even." 

Her breath hitched but then began breathing in a slow, even rhythm. I heard Spinks behind me. "Mmm, always wondered how you guys prepared for this." 

What the hell did that mean? How normal people prepare for anal sex? No time to ponder that one. Perhaps that was why he was being so patient. He was getting lessons! Great! 

I moved my fingers in and out of her, pulling more wetness when I needed it. When I finally worked my third finger into her, keeping them close together, she began to undulate her hips in time with her moaning and my strokes. I felt more blood surge into my cock making it tingle and harden to fully erect. I also knew the harder I was, the easier this would be for her. I found my fear and nervousness ebb away regarding my ability to do t his physically and mentally. He had let me prepare her and I was so relieved, my insides were shaking. Maybe I wouldn't have to hurt her after all. 

She gasped as I worked my fingers in and out and I felt and saw her wetness begin to trickle down her thighs. She moaned and gasped out, "Now, Mulder. I'm ready as I'll ever be." 

I swallowed hard and removed my fingers. I sank my shaft into her wet tunnel. Spinks startled me when he shouted, "What are you doing now? Just fuck her ass!" 

I scowled at him. "I'm lubricating myself! Now shut up!" 

"Oh," was all he said and retreated another half a step, but went back to stand at the side for a better view. His 'oh' almost sounded embarrassed. It was as if it bothered hm that he hadn't known what I was going. Obviously, preparation and lubrication were foreign concepts to him. He may have been realizing the preparation was as much of a turn on as the act sometimes. 

If I wasn't so scared, I probably would have found that funny. 

When I was fully embedded, I stroked a couple of times, fully coating myself. I placed one hand on her rear end and the other I used to guide myself to her tiny back entrance. 

In spite of the circumstances, once again, I found myself able to focus on her and block out the room around us. I was aroused, no denying it. And I was glad at the same time it made me a little sick. My ears were buzzing slightly as I realized what I was about to do. Love and fear and arousal warred with each other as I gently pressed the head of my shaft against her sphincter muscle. She hissed and then grunted as her muscle collapsed and my head popped inside. I stopped, waiting for a sign from her. I found my voice. 

"Deep breath, Scully, relax." She did as I instructed and I felt the muscle relax. I was fairly large for this job. And judging by the level of tightness as I slid in millimeter by millimeter, letting her muscles relax by degrees, this was virgin territory. Either that or long unused. I shook my head to clear it. I didn't need to be thinking about what she had and hadn't done in her past. It didn't matter. What mattered was satisfying this mad man for now and not hurting her in the process. 

I felt like an absolute pervert being able to be turned on right now, while being watched. But Christ, the woman I loved was letting me do this to her; had offered this willingly to save me from the trauma of rape. I began to cry silent tears again as I found myself embedded inside the tightest arena I'd ever been in. I groaned. I couldn't help it. 

I ran my hands over her rear end and back, trying to soothe her tension. "Scully, are you O.K.?" 

She mumbled, "Mmm, hmm." 

"Tell me when I can move." 

Spinks, with his impeccable timing, broke into our bubble of focus. "I'll tell you when to move. NOW! Move now, G-Man, or the deal's off." 

Scully said, "Go ahead, try to go slow at first." I began to pull out and thrust gently back inside. My short strokes grew longer as she loosened to accommodate me. My arousal reestablished my haze of sexual 'tune out'. I concentrated solely on her. Her moans and gasps spurred me on and I found myself gritting my teeth as I tried to hold back from pounding into her until I found relief. I'd never been inside anyone or anything this tight in my life. 

To distract myself, I began talking to her. "Oh, Scully, this feels exquisite. Can't believe you did this for me. Oh Christ, I love you so much. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. So sorry. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't more turned on than I've ever been in my life, and not because of this ... circumstance." 

I didn't want to mention being watched and remind her where we were, not that she didn't know. But I didn't need to draw her focus to it, if she'd managed to block it out. I continued to thrust gently. 

'I'm so aroused, just because this is you, just because I've dreamed of touching your body, and loving you so many times." 

I grunted again as I felt the urge to speed up. Despite my efforts to tune it out, I could hear Spinks through my clouded brain, touching himself. His grunts and the wet slap of his hand perversely reminded me of one of my porn videos that often played in the background of my masturbation sessions. 

Then his ragged voice penetrated my haze. "Oh yeah, that's good, oh yeah, stroke her deep. Oh yeah, ahh, fuck, that's good. Keep going. Keep fucking her just like that. Yeah! God, your cock is big! So big! Fuck her! Fuck her! Fuck her!" 

He paused to growl, then urged me on. "Faster, Foxy. Fuck her faster. You know you want to. Come on! Speed up. Bury that big cock in her fast and deep in that tiny ass. Come on! COME ON!" He was obviously losing his patience, I thought wryly. 

Scully shuddered. "Go ahead, Mulder. I'm fine. You feel great. Do what you have to do." 

I ground out, "I don't ... want to ... hurt ... you!" I sounded on edge and desperate, even to my own ears. 

She moaned as I stroked with slightly more force. "You won't ... you won't hurt me, I promise. Go ahead." 

Spinks howled again as he sped up his activities. 

Slap, Slap, Slap. "I said, FUCK HER HARD, NOW!" 

"Ahhhhhhh," was the only sound I could make, torn in two between arousal and fear. 

Scully's voice saved me again. "Mulder, you're not fucking me." 

I groaned. Oh God, what did she mean? 

She wasn't finished. "You're making love to me, Mulder I know you are, I can feel it, despite ... this! And you feel amazing. Let go. It's O.K. He only wins if you really believe you're at fault here. You're not!" 

I growled, her words soothing me as I sped up involuntarily, my body was screaming for release. I couldn't help thinking, 'she's just saying this to make me feel better. 

Oh lord, here I am taking her in the back door at the whim of a mad man who wants revenge on ME. And she's still trying to reassure ME. What's wrong with that picture? How can anyone be THAT compassionate? Only my Scully. 

I held her hips still and sped up until I was pounding into her fairly hard, still trying to hold back, afraid of hurting her. She made an, "Awww, Awww, Awww," sound with every stroke, but didn't sound like she was in distress. 

I leaned forward slightly, stroking down into her. This slight change in angle made her muscles grip me tighter. My hips made a slapping sound on the soft skin of her derriere. I nearly shrieked in surprise as I felt her body go taut and begin to quake. She whimpered, "Awww, Mulder, I'm coming." 

Holy shit! She was having a orgasm! Maybe she wasn't lying to make me feel better. The muscles in her rectum squeezed me unbearably tight. Wave after wave of pleasure throbbed through my shaft and spiraled through my body. The pleasure remained tempered by the guilt and disgust I was feeling for myself at the moment. I was sick. I was really enjoying this. I was getting off on it. I shouldn't be. Her words came back to me. 'He only wins if you really believe you're at fault here. You're not!' 

My head spun as I continued to push into her. I heard Spinks shout as he orgasmed. And I kept pushing into her. What was the matter with me? My cock felt ready to burst, but I couldn't come. 

I heard my own whispered words drift into the haze of my muddled brain. "I can't come, I'm sick. I can't come, I'm sick. I can't come." 

Scully's voice, commanding, but sympathetic cut through to me again. "Mulder, it's O.K. to get pleasure from this. It's O.K. to feel pleasure! Let go now. Let go. I felt pleasure. Do you think I was wrong now? Let go!" 

Was she reading my mind for Christ's sake?! 

My shoulders began to shake with silent sobs as I pushed into her over and over again, now at a frenzied pace. I began to keen with the pleasure/pain of non-release. I watched myself sink into her over and over, pushing her tight, little ass cheeks apart. She was so small and my cock looked so big sliding into her little puckered hole, stretching her open. 

It looked like it must hurt her. But she swore it wasn't. The sight of it almost made me dizzy. I'd never felt intense pleasure like this before in my life. I'd never felt my cock squeezed so tight. And I had never hung on the edge of release like this before either. 

And I was being watched. Sick, sick, I was sick. 

She twisted her head around on her neck. The position was incredibly awkward. She did it so I could see her face, her eyes. She locked her gaze with mine, tears starting to fall. She said, "God, Mulder, don't you know I love you? Now let go!" 

Her words were like an echo in my clogged brain. 
    
    
         'Don't you know I love you ...
         'Know I love you ...
         'Love you.'
    

My heart lurched in my chest and I screamed as I felt my cock expand to the point of pain. I jerked and nearly convulsed as I finally emptied into her. The stinging burn in my cock was exquisite as I spurted jet after jet inside her tight tunnel. I finally trembled to a stop, my knees threatening to give out. 

My torso fell forward, toppling onto her back. I stuck my arms out to catch myself but my bound wrists prevented the instinctive reaction and my weight landed full on her. 

She grunted loudly as I landed. I placed my hands flat on the table to one side of her and scrambled to raise myself. 

"I'm sorry, Scully. Sorry. Are you O.K.?" After what she just went through she didn't need 175 pounds of me squishing her into the table top. I felt like a totally clumsy dolt. 

She said, "I'm fine, Mulder." 

I snorted at the now familiar phrase that usually signified her denial. She chuckled as I stood and pulled gently out of her, seeing her gaping opening flutter and began to close. My dick twitched just from the sight of how much I'd stretched her open. She moaned as I rubbed her cheeks lightly. 

"Really, Mulder. I swear, I'm O.K." 

I was about to tell her I was sorry for this whole mess again when Spinks grabbed my arms rudely from behind and yanked me away. I staggered and fell to the floor, hissing in pain as my hip made contact with the hard floor. He looked down at me, shaking his head, his expression unreadable. 

Finally, he said, "You are one clumsy bastard sometimes, you know that?" he paused. Then, "But you've got some amazing fucking endurance. I've got to hand it to you. I'm impressed." Like I cared! He slapped me on the shoulder as if we were old buddies and I flinched. 

He didn't put Scully back on the wall. I was glad for her. I knew her shoulders had to be killing her and she hadn't uttered one complaint. That was my stoic Scully. God, I was calling her 'my Scully' a lot lately, wasn't I? 

He tied her to the wooden chair instead. Her arms were now fastened behind her after being wrapped in back of the chair, but at least her legs were getting a break. 

I was so confused. I didn't know what to do, or how to feel. She'd said she loved me. But was it just to send me over the edge? Was it because I had said it and she felt obligated to return the sentiment? Self-doubt and I were old friends. I knew exactly what I was doing. I was preparing myself for the let down. 

I really had to stop doing this. Scully had told me in the past how unattractive my self- flagellation could be. 

Spinks was busy setting things back on the table. I looked up to see her staring at me, watching the play of emotions cross my face. As if she'd read my mind, she asked, "Do you really think I'd lie to you about something that important?" 

"I don't think that ... but, ... to get it over with ...." 

"Do you trust me?" 

I swallowed. The ultimate question between the two of us. 

"Yes, you know I do. I just don't trust myself or my interpretations of events sometimes." 

"I meant it, Mulder, just like you did." I nodded, unable to speak. She continued. "We are going to get out of here, you know?" She sounded so confident. I frowned, not so sure. 

"I don't think he'll let me go, Scully. Maybe you, but not me." 

She gave me a stern look. "Don't you dare give up on me," she whispered. I shook my head. 

"I'd never give up on you, Scully." 

Her eyes flashed. "No, don't do this. Don't give up on US, Mulder. We are a team. I told you. Either we both get out, or neither of us gets out. I'm not going to leave without you, even if I got the chance." 

"Scully, you have to!" 

She shook her head sharply. "No, don't argue with me. Would you leave me here?" 

"No." 

"Well, the door swings both ways, Mulder. You're not the only one with feelings around here! I just found out today that my partner of seven years in love with me." She paused. "You have a LOT of explaining to do, Mister. And if you think you're getting off that easy, you have got another thing coming!" 

I smiled through my tears at her attempt at levity. Christ! I was Mr. Waterworks today. 

"You are the most amazing woman I've ever met, Scully." 

"Mmm, you told me that this morning." She smiled at me and then we both turned our attention to Spinks, who seemed to have ignored our whispering. He was done replacing his bomb, knife and guns on the table. 

He picked up the cell phone and dialed again. When someone answered, he said, "Just a minute." 

He looked at me, then at Scully. He approached Scully. "Your boss wants proof that you two are alive in order to comply with my wishes. You'll talk to him and tell him you are unharmed. No funny business." 

He placed the phone to her ear. 

* * *

I had to give Skinner something to work with. This might be my only chance. I knew they didn't know about the bomb even if the hostage had told them about the C-4. 

Even I knew that we couldn't amuse this asshole forever. I was in turmoil over the revelation that Mulder was in love with me, but we didn't have time to go over that just now. Obviously, there were more important things to tend to. 

He put the phone to my ear. 

"Sir?" 

<Agent Scully, are you two all right?" 

"NO," she stressed. "Everything's fine." 

Spinks nodded. 

<Are you hurt?>

"SORT OF, just shook up." 

<What about Agent Mulder?>

"Well, we're both dealing with some NAKED fear here." Mulder pressed his lips together as I tried o give Skinner clues, hoping Spinks wouldn't realize what I was doing. The word 'naked' was stupid though. 

I looked at Spinks and he wore an expression of utter amusement. He knew. And he didn't care! What did that mean? He didn't plan on leaving here either? Oh God. All his requests could have just been ploys to waste time and keep us here uninterrupted while he played his little games. Or maybe he planned to kill us well before the deadline and make an escape somehow. Damn it! I couldn't' figure him out. I was too stressed, too tired, and too naked to function and think properly. 

<Are you saying he's taken your clothes?>

"YES, all our guns, all our resources. We are not hurt, but pretty uncomfortable." 

<Should I read that 'embarrassed'?">

"YES. He's getting a real BANG out of it." 

Spinks snorted. 

<Agent Scully, Bang? Does he have a bomb?>

"Exactly, we're O.K. for NOW, though." 

<How long do we have?>

"Don't know how long he wants to toy with us. He hasn't given us SET schedule yet." 

<He hasn't armed it yet?>

"NO, not yet. I don't know what he plans." 

<So, you're naked but unharmed?>

"Neither of us is harmed PHYSICALLY, no." 

<Mentally ... Mulder?>

"Holding up, but shaky." 

<We're going to get you out.>

"This is al very DISTRACTING, no clothes and all." 

<You need a distraction?>

"Yes, we're hanging in there, sir, but LIMITED in what we can do." 

<You're tied up?>

"Uh, yes." 

<Agent Scully?>

The phone was pulled away. Spinks answered him. 

"Nope, it's me again. Satisfied? Good, you have until noon tomorrow. 

Spinks checked our bindings and retreated tot he far wall. I asked. "What now, Spinks?" 

He barked, "Shut up, Red, I'm thinking!" 

I glanced at Mulder. He tipped his head toward the able. I flicked my eyes between him and the table. He wanted to go for the gun. My Sig, his derringer and Sparks' rifle were all laid out there, along with his knife. 

Spinks turned to us. "Either of you have to go to the bathroom?" 

"Yes!" We said in unison. He untied me first, leaving my hands bound and guided me to the door at the back of the room. I twisted my head around to look at Mulder. He nodded. I was going to delay him as long as possible. 

* * *

As soon as Scully left the room with Spinks, I rolled to the table and jumped to my feet, wincing at the pain in my legs muscles that shook with strain of being confined. They were beginning to cramp. I picked up his knife but couldn't maneuver the blade to my binding. It was too large. I tried using my teeth, wondering why I hadn't thought of that before. My heart began to pound as they loosened. Why hadn't he tied my arms behind my back? Mistake. He was getting cocky or he was getting tired. 

I looked down to see my ruined sport coat and pants on the floor. He would notice anything missing off this table. I dropped and rolled to my clothes and fished in the pants pocket and came up with my Swiss army knife. 

I heard Scully say, "God, don't push. I'm going, I'm going." She was warning me of their approach. I rolled back to my former position making my hands into fists and holding the cord snug so he wouldn't know it was loosened enough to slide over my hands. I tucked the knife in my palm and hoped he wouldn't notice anything suspicious about the psoitioin of my hands. They crashed through the door, Scully staggering from a push. He tied her to the chair. 

He looked at me. "Get up, your turn." I glanced at my legs. He untied them and I stood gingerly. 

Just then, his cell phone rang. He turned to retrieve it from the table and I took a step toward Scully. She eyed me, wondering what I was doing. Her gaze flicked to the table and she saw nothing missing. 

He began to pace with his back to us. "What the fuck?!" he shouted. "No, all of it, or no deal!" 

I stepped behind the chair and bent over, gingerly opening the knife and placing it in her hand. Her fingers closed over the hilt as I helped her put it to the cord. I stepped away quickly, placing myself between her and Spinks. 

He whipped around to look at me. "Get it all or one of the two dies, end of story. No more negotiating. 

He disconnected the call and glared at me. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" 

"The bathroom, hopefully. It's my turn, right?" 

He looked at me suspiciously but then nodded. He reached for my wrists but I yanked them away. "No need, I'll go peacefully. I really need to go." He picked up the Sig and waived it towards the door. I stepped ahead of him with him following close on my heels. Obviously he was still more wary of me than Scully. 

* * *

I sawed frantically at my bindings as soon as they left the room. Where he'd gotten this knife I didn't know. It must have been something he'd carried with him. I squelched the yip of delight as I felt them fall away. I immediately bent over and freed my legs. 

I leaped up, nearly falling as blood rushed into my feet and my thighs protested the sudden movement. I took a deep breath and lurched toward the table, grabbing up the derringer. I flicked the safety off, checked to see that it was loaded and limped to the door. I put my back to the wall and drew deep breaths trying to still my heat that was banging against my rib cage. I could unlock the door and flee, but that would leave Mulder alone. And I meant what I said. I wasn't leaving without him. 

They would be back too quickly for me to get others inside. I heard them coming and braced myself. The door swung open and Mulder strode threw. He looked at the empty chair and threw himself sideways. 

Spinks reacted instinctively, moving quicker than I would have thought possible, whirling toward me as I pulled the trigger. His gun arm smashed into the bottom of my forearm as I fired and yelped in pain, dropping the gun. The bullet went wild and hit the ceiling. Stupid! I'd been too close to the door. His cell phone on the table started ringing. They must have heard the shot outside. 

He grabbed me by the hair at the back of my head, the Sig coming to rest against the bottom of my chin. Without warning, Mulder reached over his shoulder and knocked the Sig away from my head. The report of the gun firing next to my head was deafening. Thank God Mulder was taller than this asshole. 

Spinks elbowed Mulder, never letting go of me and turned back to me, slamming my head into the wall. 

Mulder screaming my name was the last thing I remember as blackness enveloped me. 

* * *

* * *

**PART 3 ( R )**  
**ABANDONED APARTMENT BUILDING**  
**THURSDAY - NEAR NOON TIME**

I woke up with a splitting headache. I was on the floor on my side and my left arm was numb from the shoulder down. I opened my eyes carefully and saw that it was light outside. It had been getting dark when I was knocked out. I scanned the room and saw Mulder a few feet away, lying facing me, out cold. 

I had no way of knowing whether Spinks knocked him out too or not. I looked around but didn't see Spinks. I broke out in a sweat when I realized the bomb was gone off the table. 

I groaned as I rolled over to Mulder. I levered up onto my knees, my ankles still tied and nudged him with my shoulder. My arm broke out in pins and needles as the blood came back. I hissed from the pain of it but swallowed it, trying to be quiet. 

My voice was an urgent whisper. "Mulder!" I nudged him again. His eyelashes fluttered, so I nudged him again. "Mulder, wake up!" 

He moaned and opened his eyes slightly, just slits and closed them again. "Mulder, he's not here and the bomb is gone." 

His eyes came open fully then and he tried to focus on me, blinking rapidly. "Scully?" 

"Yes, you have to try and wake up. He isn't here and the bomb's gone!" He yawned and struggled to sit up, apparently having the same numbness in his arm. 

He looked at the table. "Oh God." He dropped his hands into his head. "We could get out of here." 

He looked at the door. "First, untie me." We set about loosening each other's bindings. It was tougher than it should have been. He'd tied us really tight. "He hit my with a syringe. My vision went all nuts and then I passed out. What time do you think it is?" 

I looked at the door. The blind was closed but I could see sunlight. "I think it must be morning. It's light outside." 

"We helped each other stand and looked for our clothes. We hopped quickly into our pants, but the shirts were history, as well as his jacket. 

"Look, I can walk out there in just pants, let me see if I can see anything." 

He walked to the door, limping, and cocked the shade open. I looked at the latch. It was just too stupid for him to leave us alone this way. Obviously, he'd drugged me too. My head felt fuzzy, but something wasn't right. 

"Mulder, he wouldn't have just left us here. It can't be that easy to just walk out." 

He stepped back from the door and scanned the door. He stepped back suddenly. "The door's wired," he croaked. He pointed and I walked over looking at the space between the lock and the door jamb. I could see a red and a copper wire. 

"Shit!" 

"We have to find another way out," he said. He looked up at the vent. 

"I don't think I can make it up there, Mulder." 

"Me neither. I'm too weak. I'm hungry too." 

"Yeah, me too, but that's the least of my worries. Damn, I wish I had my cell phone!" 

"Scully, I had mine in my suit coat!" We went over to his torn clothing but it was nowhere to be found. 

"Was he using your phone before to call outside. I didn't even look at it." 

"No, it was his." He strode over to his duffel bag which was laying abandoned on the other side of the room. 

"Nothing, just some more cord." 

"Well, we can't stay here." 

"We have to find him. Maybe we can surprise him." 

"That worked so well last time," I deadpanned. 

He smiled at me. "You didn't have me to back you up. I didn't know what you were doing." 

"Let's go." 

* * *

We opened the door we had exited to go to the bathroom just down the hallway. We crept along, not wanting to make any noise. Both side of the hallway were lined with doors to apartments. 

"He could be in any one of these," I whispered. 

Scully looked at me. "Maybe we shouldn't try to find him. Let's just get out. 

"He's probably got every exit wired. That's probably what he's doing now." 

Luck was just not with us today. We approached an intersection in the hallway and he came striding around the corner, Sig in hand. We turned and ran back the way we came. I jerked on the door to one of the apartments and it opened. I yanked Scully inside and locked the door. He was in hot pursuit, and began shouldering the door. It was flimsy. It wasn't going to last long. 

He shouted through the door. "I'm going to the roof, it's almost noon. The bomb is set on the second floor and it's going to go off in about twenty minutes. I'll see ya later." 

The banging and his voice ceased. We stopped, looking at each other. "What now?" 

"Windows!" she said. 

We raced around the empty apartment, dodging broken furniture. The bitch of nasty neighborhoods was that people put bars on their windows. We weren't getting out through a window. Not in here anyway. 

Suddenly, I just couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed the bars and shook them, letting out a primal cry of frustration. I was about to bang my head on them, when Scully pulled me around and wrapped her arms around me as I began to shake with suppressed sobs. 

"Christ! I can't stop crying today. Damn it, Scully, I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't think straight. How the hell did I get us into this!" 

"Shh, none of this is your fault. Hang in there. We'll figure something out. I'm having trouble thinking like an agent too." 

"Maybe we should head to the roof," I suggested. 

"How many stories is this building?" 

"I don't know, at least six." 

"We have no idea how powerful that bomb is. I didn't recognize it, I have no idea what was in it." I wished I had more knowledge of bombs. 

Scully frowned. "If it's enough to blow the whole building, and we're up high ... " 

"We'll be killed by the fall if the structure gives." 

"And if we're down here..." 

"We'll be crushed by falling debris." 

She sighed heavily. "There's got to be something we can do. We should get near an exit and barricade ourselves. Maybe that way we can protect ourselves. And if we need to be dug out, we'll won't be in the middle of the rubble." 

"Oh, that's a cheery thought." 

"Any better ideas?" 

"No. I'm sorry, Scully. I'm just so frustrated. I don't want to die here. What a stupid way to die." 

"We are not going to die." 

I loosened my grip on her. "I'm sorry for all of this, Scully. I don't know how you can even stand the sight of me." 

"Stop it! This is no time for a pity party!" 

"I'm sorry." 

"Stop saying you're sorry and let's look around. We don't have much time." I nodded. 

"Hey!" She reached up and cupped my jaw with her palm. "We're O.K., you and me, you know? It's going to be all right. We'll talk about US later, but we have to get out of here, or at least protect ourselves. Come on. We're both smart, we'll figure something out." 

I grabbed her into a quick, fierce hug and kissed the top of her head. She grabbed my hand and led me out of the apartment. We spent ten minutes looking for something to barricade ourselves with in the apartments. We came up empty except for a big wooden desk that we found. 

We dragged it back into the common room and set it to the side on the wall adjacent to the door. If the door blew, we didn't want to be in it's path. We dragged the table over and propped it in front of the desk, on it's side. We crawled under the desk. It was a tight fit. I hauled my legs up and Scully sat in between them. We pulled the table top up as close to the desk as it would go and waited. 

We heard noise outside the door. Oh God, they must be trying to get in. Spinks must have tipped them about the bomb. I shouted. "The door's wired!" 

The words were no sooner out of my mouth and it exploded inwards. We ducked our heads as glass flew through the room. We were far enough to the side that it didn't hit us. A few stray pieces bounced off the table top. We scrambled out after the dust cleared. Scully shouted, "Run!" 

We couldn't have taken two steps and we heard the explosion above our heads. Wood, concrete and plaster began raining down on our heads and we dove back under the desk. We couldn't get the table back up and I put my back to room, crushing Scully beneath me and in front of me to shield her body. 

The noise was incredible. Oh God! Please! Not fire! Anything but fire! It sounded like the world was shaking apart. I could smell smoke and felt myself start to panic. Wooden beams were crashing down in the center of the room. Black particles and smoke were starting to fill the air. I laid Scully flat on the floor, face up and laid my body on top of hers. She started to protest. "No Mulder!" 

"Yes!" I whimpered slightly and she grabbed my face. I was shaking like a leaf. 

"It's not burning. It's O.K.!" She caught my gaze then and our eyes locked together. 

I said the only thing I could at that moment. If this was it, what did I have to lose? "Just in case, Scully ..." 

"No, don't think like that!" 

"Just in case!" I cradled her head. "I love you, Scully. Please forgive me." 

I kissed her fast and hard and then buried my head in her shoulder. She clung to me tightly as I felt wetness pouring down. Where the hell was that coming from? Amazingly, the debris was keeping to the center of the room and the desk was still in tact. I could feel Scully shaking beneath me. The crashing, hissing and the sound of splintering wood seemed to go on forever. But the desk wasn't even jolted by flying debris. I didn't think it was ever going to end. 

She had to feel me shaking. In the midst of all of this, I heard her say into my ear, "Stay with me, partner. I love you, Mulder." 

I felt my chest constrict tightly as I prayed silently. Yes, me, Fox Mulder, prayed to a God I professed not to believe in. "Please God, just let us live. Let us be able to be in love for just a little while." A second later I realized I'd said it out loud, right into her ear. 

Finally, the roar, died down. I levered up onto my knees, hunched over under the desk. Piles of debris consisting of wood, plaster, insulation, pieces of steel were piled as high as my shoulder starting about one foot from the desk. I peered out and Scully struggled to sit up, wrapping her arms around her chest. Funny, I'd forgotten she was shirtless that whole time. 

I could hear sirens and there was water dripping and running from what was left of the ceiling. I took Scully's hand and began scrambling up the pile. I looked to the right and the whole front wall of this room was gone. Jesus! Piles of brick and mortar were everywhere. 

I saw a fire truck and realized where the water was coming from. We reached the top and Scully slipped. She would have tumbled head long down this six foot high pile of rubble had I not had her hand. I yanked her hard, nearly pulling her arm out of the socket, but I was able to catch her and pull her into my chest. 

She screamed, finally losing it. "Ahhhh, Haaa! Oh God, Mulder! Oh God! We're alive. Don't let go of me!" 

I clung to her, leaning against the rubble. "I've got you. I've got you." I heard someone shout, "Holy Shit, Sir, there they are!" 

I kept Scully tight to my chest and looked up to see Skinner and a police officer running toward us. I was afraid to move on the rubble, afraid to start an avalanche of brick of plaster. We could still get hurt here and some of this stuff was hot. 

The cop was a African American woman. I couldn't focus on her. My ears were still ringing from the noise and my vision was slightly blurry. I didn't know if I'd been hit on the head, or if it was from the drug he gave us. 

She climbed up the rubble, with Skinner close behind. I could see paramedics running with stretchers toward us. Skinner shouted, "Hand her down Mulder." 

He reached his arms up, bracing his legs against the rubble. I shook my head. I was afraid to let her go. "Mulder, you have to let go of her!" 

Scully had stopped sobbing but she was still crying. She looked up at me. "It's O.K., I'm O.K., now Mulder." 

The officer climbed higher until she was just below my legs. 

"D.C.P.D., what are you doing here?" 

"Arlington called in D.C.P.D. to back them up. Too much to do out here. Said they wanted some women officers on the scene for the hostages." 

I gently handed Scully down to her. She was a tall woman, nearly five foot-ten, and she cradled Scully to her chest. Skinner braced her and they worked their way down until they could put her on a stretcher. I could see Scully wrapping her arms over her bare chest. The officer ripped off her jacket and threw it over her as soon as she was prone. I was suddenly very light-headed. I felt like I was going to faint. I sat down in the rubble and put my head between my legs. My ears were ringing and my vision was going fuzzy. 

I heard Skinner shout, "Mulder!" I tried to raise my head to look at him and everything went black. 

* * *

Walter Skinner stood near his car, waiting for the paramedics to pass verdict on his two rogue agents. He had a soft spot for them, but he would never voice it aloud to anyone. 

The female officer approached him now, smiling. "They're going to be O.K., you know?" 

"Are they?" 

"Yeah, I stayed with Agent Scully until she calmed down and they brought her around. She's suffering from a little exposure and she's banged up, but otherwise O.K." 

"Did you see that desk they were hiding under?" 

"Yeah, it's almost as if God formed a bubble over it." 

"Eerie, I'll tell you. The rest of the place looks like a natural disaster but not one stick on that desk was harmed. Weird." He shivered. 

"Yeah, Mulder's finishing up over there." She pointed to the ambulance and he saw Mulder step out of the back of the rig. He'd passed out on the rubble, and he's literally, dragged him down the rubble to the paramedics. He figured it was probably just all the stress catching up with him. The paramedic said his pupils were dilated, and he'd probably been drugged. 

Mulder walked slowly, but with no evidence of difficulty until he reached Skinner's car. He looked at Skinner, not saying anything, just shaking his head slightly. "I'm sorry, Sir. This never should have gone down this way." 

"It's not your fault, Mulder. The guy was a mad man." 

"Was?" 

"Yeah, some Agents got him on the roof. They were hiding in the back of the chopper when he jumped in. They flew him off the roof before the building blew. They touched down in the park west of here. He wrestled a gun away from one of them and shot himself in the head." 

"Can't say as I'm terribly upset." 

"No, I don't imagine you are." 

"I gave a statement to the police in the ambulance. They couldn't even wait for me to be checked out." 

"Sorry, they should have waited." 

"It's O.K., I want to get this over with, anyway." He looked upset about something. 

"What is it, Mulder? What do you want to tell me?" 

"I didn't tell the police everything." 

"What didn't you tell them?" 

"Nothing that will affect the case." 

"Do you want to tell me?" 

He shook his head. "Not really, but I need to tell you part of it, to justify my request." 

"O.K." 

"He made us ... do things." 

"Things?" 

"He humiliated us both, it was very traumatic for both of us." 

"Sexual things?" Mulder eyes darted away from his at that point. 

"Yeah." 

Skinner rubbed a hand over his face. "Are you telling me this because you think you and Agent Scully will need counseling?" 

"No. But I think we will need some time off. We need to ... come to terms with what happened in there." 

"Mulder, I have to ask this question." Mulder looked up at him. "Were either of you raped?" 

Mulder's eyes closed and he swallowed hard. "No," he said softly. "He ... molested me somewhat, but he didn't rape me. Same with Scully. He ... fondled both of us. He made us ... touch each other too." 

"Shit, Mulder, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say." 

"Don't say anything. There's nothing to be said. We'll get over it, but ... we may need a few days to get our cookies back in one jar, you know? Scully ... she was so strong in there ... " 

His breath hitched. "Oh God, Sir, you have no idea what she did in there, what she said, what she allowed to ... keep him occupied and distracted." 

"You don't need to tell me." 

"I'm not going to. I just need for you to understand that while she was the pillar of stone in there, she's shaky now that it's all over. So am I. We're going to need some time. I don't know how long." 

"Take all the time you need." Mulder leaned his back on the car as if he no longer had the energy to stand up. "Here she comes." 

Mulder looked up and watched Scully walk to him, wide-eyed, looking stunned. Skinner didn't know if he'd ever seen her look so bewildered. It was a sobering sight. Mulder opened his arms, looking like he didn't know if it was the right thing to do. Skinner didn't imagine Scully accepted comfort too often. 

But to his surprise, she fell into Mulder's arms and they wrapped their arms around each other. Normally, he would have felt compelled to say something. They shouldn't be making a public spectacle of themselves. But this whole thing wasn't normal. And after what Mulder had just hinted at, they needed each other, now more than ever. He wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. 

* * *

* * *

**PART 4 ( R )**  
**FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT**  
**THURSDAY EVENING**

We later found out that they had tried to come in through the HVAC ducts again but had been unsuccessful. Spinks had fired through the ceiling at them and they had to retreat. They had tried to send a team in through the roof, and 3 officers on SWAT were killed when a door exploded in their face. Skinner had also tried to call him and negotiate again after the shots were fired. The only result had been Spinks wiring all the doors. 

There was still no explanation for the incredible condition of the big wooden desk that we had been hiding under. I might have to concede divine intervention after all. I had prayed, after all, for the first time in years. And my prayer had been sincere, raw, and from the heart. Who knows? 

We each spent a long time in the shower cleaning up. I let her go first. Scully called her mother. I called the Gunmen. 

I emerged from the shower feeling one hundred percent better and donned some sweats and a tee shirt. She was sitting on the couch, her legs curled up underneath her, cradling a cup of Camomile tea. I sat on the opposite side of the couch and she waved at a cup of tea on the coffee table. 

I picked it up and took a sip. We sat in silence for several long minutes, each trying to figure out what to say. I had no idea how this experience would change our relationship, but it had to in some way. 

I knew what I wanted, but wasn't foolish enough to think that she did too. She had done what she had to do to keep me and her from being raped. Just because she had a moment of enjoyment there, just like I did, didn't mean that she was in love with me, despite what she had said. I knew she loved me. I believed that. But being IN LOVE with me was another kettle of fish entirely. 

So we sat in silence until I couldn't stand it anymore. Finally I said, "Scully, we're both exhausted. Why don't we go to bed and we'll talk tomorrow. I know we have a lot of things to discuss but neither of us is really ready to think about it right now, are we?" 

She looked at me. "Yes and no. There are things I need to say to you. Things I already know I need to tell you. But I am exhausted and emotional and not totally ready to get into another emotional conversation." 

I nodded. "You take the bed and I'll stay out here. The sheets are clean, I just changed them a couple of days ago. And I haven't slept in there since." 

She smiled a sad little smile and stood up, putting her empty tea cup on the coffee table. She stopped in front of me and placed a hand on the back of my neck. I looked up at her and she leaned over and pressed her lips to my forehead. She lingered but then pulled away. 

I sighed. I took this familiar gesture of comfort and friendship to mean that she was probably going to want to go back to the way things were and this was her way of telling me. 

I heard her sigh. "You know what, Mulder?" 

"What?" 

"That isn't going to be enough anymore, I don't think." 

I found her gaze again and she looked at me, shaking her head slightly as if bemused and unsure. "What isn't going to be enough?" I asked tentatively. 

"Kissing your forehead." Silence. I didn't know what to say. "I've tasted better things now." 

I swallowed hard and continued to look at her. "I thought we weren't going to talk about this tonight." 

She smiled that sad smile again. "We aren't really, but I do have to say something because ..." 

"Because why?" 

"I don't want to be alone right now." 

"You're not alone. I'm right here. That's why I brought you home with me so neither of us would have to be alone with our thoughts." 

"I mean I don't want to go to bed alone." My eyes widened but I didn't break eye contact. "If I go in there and lay down in your bed ... all I'm going to think about is how you are on the other side of that wall. And that's not where I want you to be." 

My voice was a whisper. "This is all your call, Scully. You know that. Where do you want me to be?" 

"In there, with me, curled around me." 

My breath hitched and I couldn't stop the tear that escaped my eye. She wiped it away with her thumb and held out her hand. I took it and stood, and followed her into the bedroom. 

* * *

In a mere 36 hours, my life has been turned upside down. The partner I've been attracted to since the day I met, and fell in love with a couple years ago, became my lover today. 

And just like everything else emotional with us, it was under duress and traumatic. But it made me realize some things. One, life is too short to live it in fear. Life is empty without someone to share it with. And most importantly, if he'd died in there, I wouldn't have wanted to carry on. 

He has a bag of faults covering the entire spectrum of human frailty. He is obsessive, self-absorbed and arrogant at times. He doesn't listen to reason a lot of the time. He is guilt-ridden and morose on many occasions. 

But he also has a lot of endearing qualities, fascinating qualities. He's brilliant, his memory is astounding. He can be so tender and compassionate. I found that out today. I knew he was capable of it. He'd been that way before with me, when I'd let him. But today was different. He'd put his heart on the line to make sure that I felt loved. He wanted to be worthy of the sacrifice he thought I was making for him. 

It wasn't really a sacrifice at all. I'd never admitted it to anyone but myself, but I wanted my partner. I wanted a relationship beyond friendship. I wanted him in my bed. And I had for a long time. I'd wondered what kind of lover he would be. Today certainly was no measuring stick for that in many ways. You couldn't come up with more bizarre circumstances if you tried. But it did tell me some things. He loved me, really loved me. I didn't believe him at first, but I do now. 

He was more concerned with my welfare than his own. He was so excruciatingly tender it made me want to cry. He was a generous person when it came to me. Now I knew he would be a generous lover too. 

I didn't want to have another go just yet, but I couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him either. I reached out to him and he folded me into his arms. We stood that way next to his bed for a long time, just enjoying the feel of being pressed together. 

I finally pulled away. I knew he was waiting for me to tell him what I wanted. He wasn't going to make a move without my permission. "Mulder." 

"Hmm?" 

"Strip down to your boxers and crawl in here with me." 

His eyes widened slightly, but he nodded and pulled his tee shirt over his head. He turned his back to me to pull off his sweat pants. I would have laughed if I'd had the energy. We'd seen each other buck naked and now he was acting shy. 

I took off my pajama bottoms and crawled under the covers in a tee shirt and panties. He looked at me for a moment and then crawled into bed with me. I held out my arms and he slid into them, resting his head below my collar bone. I ran my fingers through his silky hair and he sighed, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me onto my side so I faced him. 

"I just want to be held tonight, Mulder. I'm not up for anything else." 

"I wouldn't ask that of you!" He almost sounded offended. 

"I know you wouldn't, but I don't want us to have any misunderstandings. We've had so many." 

He nodded, understanding. "Yeah, I guess we have." 

"We'll work on making that better tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to sleep, being able to feel you near." 

He leaned down and kissed me chastely on the lips. He gently rolled me onto my other side and then pulled my back into his chest. Now my head was under his chin, his arm under my neck like a warm pillow. The other arms the slung over my waist. His fingers spread out over my abdomen and he molded his body to mine. 

I sighed in deep contentment. I wasn't going to think about this day until tomorrow. I felt safe now. I felt safer than I could ever remember feeling. I'd followed Mulder into more danger than I could even fathom sometimes. The paradox was that he was the only man who ever made me feel this safe. "Mulder, you make me feel so safe." 

He snorted but tightened his grip on me. "I'm glad, Scully. I don't know how that's possible. But I'm glad." 

I glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was only 7:00 PM, but we were both exhausted. I drifted off feeling his slow, even breathing against my neck. 

* * *

I woke up feeling the sun slanting across my face. I glanced at the clock. 9:00 AM. Amazing. We'd slept for nearly 14 hours straight. I'd never slept that long uninterrupted. I glanced down at the red head below my chin. She was snoring slightly and it made me smile. 

I tightened my grasp on her. It felt so good to hold her like this. No trauma, no sickness, just because I wanted to. And she wanted me to hold her. That was the amazing thing. I'd had a lump in my throat the size of a baseball when she'd asked me to hold her, told me that she wanted to sleep with me near, that I made her feel safe. 

She had to be the most amazing woman I'd ever met in my lifetime. She never stopped surprising me, as well as I thought I knew her sometimes. My stomach rumbled and I reluctantly disengaged from her slowly, trying not to wake her. 

She mewled softly and whispered my name, "Mullldeeer." 

I petted her hair away from her face, pulled the covers up to her shoulders and kissed her lightly on the temple. "Shhh, sleep. I'll be right here." 

She hummed in the back of her throat and smacked her chops once. It was the most adorable thing I think I'd ever seen. She looked so small and fragile in sleep. I knew she wasn't. Nobody knew better than me just how tough she was. But I felt a surge of protectiveness flow through me as I watched her sleep. 

I slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen to start breakfast. 

* * *

<There was a gun to his head. The bastard pushed me away and I fell. Before I could turn around to see, I heard the shot and the fall of a heavy body hitting the floor. I screamed, hysteria finally taking over.>

"Mmmuuullldddeeerrr! Oh God, Noooo, Mulder!" 

<I was sobbing now. The bastard was shaking me by the shoulders and I was trying to fight him off but he was too strong and I was so weak.>

Finally, a familiar voice cut through the fog and I jerked awake to find Mulder holding my shoulders, bent over me with a look of panic on his face. "Dana! Dana! It's just a dream, wake up now. Wake up." 

I blinked slowly and looked at him again. "Mulder?" 

"Yeah, I'm right here. It's O.K." He gathered me up into his arms and I wiped my teary face on his tee shirt. 

I calmed instantly feeling his strong arms around me. "Sorry," I murmured. 

"For what? Having a nightmare? You could hardly help it." 

"I screamed didn't I? I scared you." 

"Yes, for a minute, until I realized you were dreaming. But then you weren't waking up, that's when I got scared again." 

"You called me Dana." 

"yeah, it usually works to get your attention when nothing else will." 

I squeezed him tight. "I smell coffee." 

He ignored my comment. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"No." 

"Scully, you're always the one telling me I should talk about my nightmares." 

"Snagged, huh?" 

"Yup." 

I chuckled. "I dreamed that he shot you. He pushed me away and shot you in the head. I was hysterical that you were dead and he was grabbing at me and I couldn't fight him off." 

"Spinks?" 

"Yes." 

He rocked me gently. "Well, I'm right here. God, Scully, I'm so sorry. None of that should have happened yesterday." 

"Stop saying you're sorry. None of it was your fault. You can't take responsibility for every mad man with an attitude against you. You really have to stop that shit. It drives me bonkers!" 

He chuckled. "I'll try. But you know me." 

"Yes, I do." I looked at him. He was looking down at me tenderly. "And some good came out of it." 

"How can you say that?" 

"I learned things about you that you never would have told me." 

"Not for a long time anyway. You're going ot use it against me too, aren't you?" he asked in a teasing voice. 

"You bet." 

"I look forward to it!" 

"O.K., now?" 

"Yeah, is that coffee I smell?" 

He chuckled again. "Yes, and I'm fixing to make omelets and hash browns for breakfast." 

Just then my stomach made a embarrassingly loud sound, growling its displeasure. I gave my stomach a dirty look. He laughed again, harder this time. "Guess I should feed that thing, huh?" 

"Guess so. It's getting quite vocal." He stood up and pulled me out of the bed. "I need to use the bathroom." 

"Go ahead. The eggs will be ready when you get out. 

* * *

We ate breakfast in relative silence. We were both starved. I was a bit surprised when Scully ate all of her omelet. I'd made it as big as mine. I ate a few more hash browns, but she must have really been hungry. She never ate like that. Not in front of me anyway. 

She sat back in her chair and sighed, patting her stomach. I smiled at her. "Better?" 

"Yes. That was delicious, Mulder. I haven't had a ham and cheese omelet in a long time." 

"Glad you liked it. More coffee?" 

She nodded and I got up to pour her a cup. She said, "Now that I know you cook, you're in trouble, you know?" 

"Oh yeah, how so?" 

"I may start rebelling against ordering take out and insist that you cook for me." 

I returned with her coffee. "I'd like that actually. I hate to cook for just me though, you know? That's why I don't do it very often." 

Her expression was soft and content but then her brow wrinkled. "I suppose we need to talk, huh?" 

"We should, as much as I'd like to put it off, I think it will get more awkward if we do." 

She nodded. "Let's clean this up and then we'll talk." 

We quickly did the dishes and retired to the living room with coffee mugs in hand. We each took up a side of the couch, facing each other, her legs stretched out beside mine. We'd never done that before but it seemed natural. 

"So," I began. 

"So." 

We looked at each other for a moment and then smiled at each other. "Gee Scully, we're both so good at this, don't you think?" 

I couldn't help making the crack and she smiled. "Yeah. I know I'm an expert." 

We both laughed then and it felt good but then we sobered and sat in silence again. "Scully, you said that there were things you needed to say to me." 

"Yes, I guess I could start with that." 

"Wait. First I want to say something." She nodded, waiting. "A couple of things I need to say before we get started here." 

She sipped her coffee and nodded again. "I love you, Scully." 

"Mulder!" 

"Shhh, wait, I'm not finished." She nodded again. 

"I couldn't possibly come up with a scenario for you finding that out any worse than what happened yesterday." 

"It's O.K." 

"No, it's not. I should have told you a long time ago, but I'm chicken shit, especially when it comes to you. But I want you to know that I meant every single thing I said yesterday. None of it was for show. None of it was a platitude to make you feel better. I'm in love with you, madly in love with you and I have been for a very long time." 

Her eyes began to shimmer with tears. She opened her mouth and I held up a hand to stop her. She closed it again. "However, I want you to know that whatever you decide to do, in regard to our relationship, I will accept that. As much as I want, I will be happy with whatever you are willing to give me." 

I paused. "I don't just love you, Scully. I NEED you, professionally AND personally. And I refuse to do anything to screw that up. I can't believe that yesterday didn't screw it up. And if you were to decide you couldn't work with me anymore, I would even understand that." 

She opened her mouth again and I stalled her with a hand again. She was dying to cut in here and it almost made me smile. "But I ask only one thing. Don't take your friendship away from me, Scully. That, I can't live without." 

She looked at me for all of two seconds and then asked, "Are you finished?" 

Uh oh. That was her 'you are so stupid' tone of voice. "Yes, I'm finished." 

"One, I will never walk away from you. Your friendship means as much to me as mine does to you. Two, I will never walk away from the X-Files, unless you walked away too. They are equally important to me now. Three, yesterday was an incredibly shitty way to find out that you had feelings for me beyond friendship. But that's the way it is. I can't exactly fault you. It's not like I was a river of emotional information in your direction either." 

I smiled at that. She looked away as if gathering her thoughts and then looked back to me. "I wanted yesterday to happen." She saw the incredulous look on my face. 

"No, not the Spinks part. I mean, I've wanted to go to bed with you for a long time." I must have shown the shock on my face because she giggled. 

"But like you, I didn't know how to do it. I mean, I knew how to DO IT, but I didn't know how to approach you." 

I was laughing now. "Oh God, Scully, I'm a man for Christ's sake, all you had to do was ask!" 

She laughed too. "I know, but it wasn't that uncomplicated." 

I felt my mirth die away. "Yeah, I know." 

"I mean, how do you tell the man who has become your best friend that your feelings have changed? How do you cross that line? How do take the chance of ruining everything if he doesn't feel the same way?" 

"He? I'm right here, Scully." I knew what she was doing. She was talking about us in the third person to distance herself. 

She smiled ruefully. "Don't analyze me, Mulder." 

"Sorry." 

"It's O.K. Look, here's the bottom line. Are you asking me what I want?" 

"Yes." 

"And you're willing to go along with whatever I decide?" 

"Yes." 

"That's not very fair, Mulder." 

"That's the way it is. I won't risk our friendship and partnership, Scully, I need you in my life and I can't risk having you walk away." 

"Did it ever occur to you that I might feel the same way?" 

"Nope. Never. Not once." 

She chuckled then. "Figures." 

"So, what do you want? Do you know yet? Or do you need more time to sort it all out?" 

"No, but I want to make a decision that is informed." 

"That's my Scully. Always need the facts." 

She smiled at my tease. "Yes, I do. So I have a couple of questions for you." 

"Fire away." I was relatively surprised at how easy this was turning out to be. I thought that discussing this was going to be wrenching. She wanted to sleep with me? For how long? God, my heart rate sped up just at the thought of it. 

"Are you willing to put a lot of effort into a relationship with me?" 

"A romantic relationship?" 

"Yes." 

"Of course. I'd give me life for you, Scully, you know that." 

"That's not what I mean. That's what partners do for one another. I mean emotionally. Are you willing to stop hiding from me?" 

"Yes." 

"Are you willing to have a relationship and keep it a secret, for now anyway?" 

"Yes." 

"If people found out and we were to be split up at the Bureau, what would you do?" 

"Quit." 

"What?!" 

"I'd quit. I've told you. I can't do this without you, Scully. There would be no point. I tried when you were gone. It didn't work. I couldn't function properly without you by my side. Once I could have, but no more." 

"And you wouldn't resent me for taking you away from the X-Files." 

"No." 

"How can you be so sure about that, Mulder?" 

"Because that used to be my life and it was different then." 

"Exactly, I would be taking your life away from you. You once told me that the X-Files and finding your sister were the only things that mattered to you. You said that you couldn't allow anything to get in the way." 

"And I meant it at the time." 

"At the time?" she asked. 

"Things have changed now." 

"How so?" 

"They aren't my life anymore." 

"Bullshit!" she exclaimed. 

I smiled slowly at her. "They're not. Yes, they are important to me. But I've had some closure where Sam is concerned. I don't feel the urgency to look for her and figure out what happened that I used to feel. Now that I know she is O.K. and at peace, it's not so driving anymore." 

She looked at me as if she was unsure whether to believe me or not. "So you're saying that the X-Files are important, your need to find out what happened to your sister is important, but not what you base your life on anymore?" 

"Exactly." 

"What do you base your life on, then? What is the most important thing to you?" 

"You are, Scully. I base my life on you and what you need, and what you want, and what you are willing to give me." 

"Oh, Mulder, don't give me that responsibility." 

"Too late. It's been that way for a while now." She shook her head, not able to accept it. "Yes, Scully. YOU are the most important person, the most important thing in my life. Everything else comes second, no exceptions. As long as you're with me, I'll be O.K. I'll be sane. I'm tired of living a life of chasing shadows. I'll still do it, but I need some balance in my life now." 

"Balance?" 

"I need some stability. I want to come home to someone every night. I don't want to wake up in an empty bed anymore. I don't want to call you at 3:00 AM anymore just to hear your voice so that I can go to sleep." 

"Oh God, Mulder." She put her coffee cup on the table and so did I. She sat up on her knees and moved my legs apart. As she lowered herself between them and her chest made contact with mine, I sighed. Our arms went around each other and we hugged, staying silent for long minutes. 

Then she murmured in my ear. "I want this, Mulder. I want to be your ..." 

"My?" 

"Girlfriend? That sounds dumb." 

"Sounds wonderful." 

"How about lover?" 

"Even better." She shifted and I felt my groin tighten. Down boy! Not now! 

Scully had other ideas though. She ground her hips into mine and I let loose a moan I was biting back. "Scully, don't." 

"Why not." 

"We're not done talking." 

"Yes we are." 

"We are?" I felt confused now, trying to focus on something besides my growing hard on. 

"If you want me, I'm yours." 

"If I want you?! Are you crazy?" 

"Sometimes." 

We both laughed and I ran my fingers into her hair. "I want to kiss you." 

"Yes." 

I did, softly and she deepened it immediately. The little sounds of contentment coming from the back of her throat were killing me. I couldn't get enough of kissing her. I pulled back. "Are you sure, Scully?" 

"More sure than I've been of anything in my life. I want you, Mulder, and not just a kiss." 

"No? You don't like my kisses?" 

"I love your kisses, but I want more." 

"How much more?" 

She smiled an evil grin. Her head dropped to my neck and she began sucking on my earlobe. I bucked up into her, grinding myself into her soft belly. She murmured again, right into my ear, making me shiver. "I want to fuck you until you don't know your own name anymore." 

"Holy shit, Scully!" She giggled. 

"What do you say, partner?" 

I pulled her head back and looked into her eyes. "I think it's a miracle." 

"A miracle?" 

"That you want to be with me. That you ..." 

"Love you?" 

I felt the breath whoosh out of my lungs. "Yeah." I sounded amazed even to my own ears. "Can I hear it one more time?" 

She grinned. "I love you, Mulder." 

I crushed her to me then, mumbling. "It's a miracle." 

She chuckled and stood up, holding out her hand like she did last night. Only this time, we weren't going to be sleeping. She joked. "As much as I want to do it on this couch someday, right now I want a bed, and I want us to take our time." 

I smiled at her and once again, I stood and followed her into the bedroom, her tiny hand clasped around mine. I would follow her anywhere. 

* * *

**PART 5 (NC-17)**  
**FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT**  
**FRIDAY, NOON TIME**

We stripped and jumped into the bed, giggling like a couple of kids. He laid his weight on me and I sighed at the feeling of warmth. He asked me again. "Are you sure, Scully?" 

"Yes, and if you ask me again, I may have to get rough with you." 

"Is that a fact?" 

"Yes, it is. I know yesterday was harrowing. I know it's a miracle we're alive and I'm not going to waste any more time. I could dwell on how horrible it was. But I'd rather dwell on the good that came out of it." 

"You're amazing." 

"So, are you going to help me dwell on the good part, or are you going to keep chatting all day?" 

I smiled and leaned in for a thorough and wet, deep kiss. I moved down to suckle her breasts and she moaned as I began to suckle her. Her sounds were like an aphrodisiac. I mumbled, "I've dreamed of hearing that sound come out of your mouth, Scully." 

"Mmm, well, quit talking and make it happen." 

I did. When she was restless, I reached down to slide a finger inside her moist folds. She groaned then and her knees fell open to give me better access. Her walls began cringing after a couple minutes of this and my kissing her lips and neck and breasts. She gasped out, "Mulder, now. I don't want to wait anymore." 

I pulled up and settled between her thighs. Her legs came up around my waist, her heels resting on my butt. I looked into her eyes and felt my chest swell with emotion. She was so beautiful. "You're so beautiful, Scully, inside and out." 

She was panting gently. "You too." 

I looked away. She brought my face back to face her with her hands. "You are beautiful, Mulder. Now give me my miracle. Give me what I never thought I'd have." 

"What's that?" 

"Make love to me. Give me everything you've got. Make love to me the way you've wanted to." 

I groaned and slid into her slowly, feeling her walls stretch to encompass my aching hard on. I shuddered at the feel of it as I was finally embedded in her again. No one was watching. Just her and me. I began to stroke her slowly and she met me thrust for thrust. We both began to moan at the incredible feeling of connection between us. 

She was murmuring and I concentrated on what she was saying. "Mulder, so good, you feel so good. Oh, you stretch me. I've never been stretched like this. Awww, yeah, that's so good." 

Well, that didn't help take my mind off my impending orgasm that was tingling at the base of my spine. I whispered, "Scully, touch yourself." 

She looked at me briefly but then reached between us as I lifted off her stomach. Her hand was flat and she slid it down so her fingers brushed my cock as it slid out and back in, pushing her fingers against her clit. She began to grunt with every stroke. "Yeah, Scully, make yourself come. I want to see it." 

She sped up her swiping fingers and I watched her mouth fall open and her head fall back. She arched slightly against me, pushing her breasts into the air. My head dropped and sucked on her nipple. I couldn't resist such an offering. 

She choked out, "Yes, Mulder, suck it. Suck me harder." 

Sweet Jesus. What her words did to me. I pulled her into my mouth and sucked her hard. I thought it must hurt her, but she gasped again. "Bite it a little." 

My cock throbbed as I gently bit down on her hardened nub. Suck, bite, suck, bite, suck, bite. 

She went still for a second. I stopped. Her eyes snapped open and they said clearly, 'No, don't stop.' I sucked as hard as I could, hollowing my cheeks and then bit into her hard little nubbin. She screamed, "Ahhhhhh." 

Her walls began gripping me ferociously as her feet fell to the bed and she began thrusting hard into me. I took the hint and began to pump into her hard, biting my lip as I watched her chest flush red. She shouted, "Mulder! Mulder! Oh God, so good!" 

I let go of her breast to see her face. Her entire body quivered beneath me. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She gasped my name again as her spasms died down. Her eyes opened to lock with mine and she whispered, "Come for me." 

I pounded into her tiny frame, sinking my aching dick into her welcoming warmth. Her hands grabbed my ass and squeezed and I lost it. I shouted her name and poured into her, feeling my body quake apart. I collapsed on her, burying my face in her neck. 

I went to roll off, but her legs went up around my waist and her arms gripped my torso. "Stay, you feel good." 

I nodded and let my weight sink down onto her. God, she was so small. I began to cry softly, overwhelmed by all that had happened. I had no right to feel this good. She scratched my scalp lightly with her fingernails. 

"I love you so much, Scully. I can't believe we're here like this." 

I shivered as her nails raked the back of my neck. "I love you too, Mulder." 

I mumbled, "It's a miracle." 

She chuckled. "Lots of those going around these days." 

I rolled off her and pulled her into a spoon position, like last night. She snuggled into me. "Are you tired?" 

"Hell no, I slept 14 hours, remember?" 

I chuckled. "What do you want to do now?" 

"Just lay her a while, then maybe ..." 

"Maybe what?" 

"Try to create some more miracles." 

"Like what? I'm almost afraid to ask." 

She chuckled. "Well, since you seem to be unable to totally believe I want to be here, maybe I can work on fixing that." 

"And how would you do that?" 

"How does a blow job sound?" 

I whooped with laughter. "Oh God, Scully, you are going to blow my mind." 

"I'd rather just blow you, period." 

I rolled her onto her back and kissed her. "Give me a few minutes, huh? I'm not 18 anymore." 

"Thank God." She paused. "I have a confession to make." She paused again. "Not today, but sometime soon, I like to ... try that other thing again." 

"What other thing? You lost me." 

She hesitated, blushing. Her voice was a whisper. "Anal sex." 

I knew I looked stunned as my mouth dropped open. I swallowed and asked, "You liked that, huh?" 

"Yes. I wouldn't want to do it all the time, but once in a while it would be fun." She paused again. "I'd never done it before, but I ... trusted you, and it turned out to be ... incredibly arousing ... forbidden fruit and all that, I guess." 

I smiled at her. "You are an amazing woman. I love you so much, Scully." 

"I love you too. So, can we? Later, I mean?" 

"Anything you want." 

"It's going to be O.K., you know? You and me," she stated. 

"For the first time in my life, I think it really is going to be all right," I replied. 

"Just don't stop loving me." 

"Never." 

**THE END.**   
  


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